Dirty Horror’s Best & Worst Of 2016!

2016 is about to come to an end.  That’s sounds somewhat ominous, but if we’re talking about horror movies then it can be looked at as both a celebration and a reflection.  A celebration of the movies that made us jump up and down with glee – and a reflection on the movies that made us throw something violently at the screen while watching them.  Let’s start with some celebrating though and get into my Top 5 Horror Movies Of 2016!   Continue reading

Review: Rites Of Spring (2011)

Well, as most of you who read this blog know, I really needed a good slasher flick to get the bad taste out of my mouth that is called Smiley.  I stumbled upon a poster for a new movie called Rites Of Spring and I was already intrigued based off of the retro feel that the poster gave me.  And boy do I love me some good retro horror! Unfortunately, the poster ended up being the best part about this mess of a movie and because of that, I would have to continue on with my journey to find the slasher movie that will take away that bad taste.   Continue reading

Honk Honk! Here Comes Stitches The Clown!

Look out Smiley, Stitches The Clown is coming to wipe that stupid ass grin off your face!  Now I could go into the fact again that Smiley was a complete piece of sh*t movie, took a fairly scary mask/premise, and squandered every opportunity it had to bring even the slightest redeeming quality to the average horror fan who submitted their eyes to watching it.  I even heard that some people were getting refunds from Amazon because it was just that bad.  So in the tradition of doing it for the lul’z, coming straight outta the UK is a new horror/comedy called Stitches.

*who’s the asshole who invited the psychotic bushy haired murdering clown to the party?*

Already being hailed as a potential cult classic from Bloody Disgusting, it tells the tragic tale of Stitches The Clown who freakishly dies during a children’s birthday party after being tormented and ridiculed by all of the little tikes in attendance.  So what happens next?  Stitches comes back from the dead and takes revenge on the now ‘of age’ youngsters, that’s what! Continue reading

Review: Smiley (2012)

Well, it was the moment of truth.  Would Smiley become a new horror icon big enough to stand amongst the crowd of Freddy, Jason, and Michael?  Would Smiley become the villain that would haunt your dreams and make you think twice about turning on your computer?  Or would Smiley just turn out to be a steaming hot pile of dog sh*t that no one should watch, remember, or give two sh*ts about?  I’ll go with the latter…..    Continue reading

News: Indie Slasher ‘Smiley’ To Hit Limited Run In 14 Markets

We’re always looking for a new masked horror villain that can spawn unnecessary sequels and in the end, be reduced to a caricature of itself right?  Well that’s what director Michael Gallagher hopes to accomplish with his new slasher opus Smiley when it hits a limited theatrical run on October 12th.  AMC will release it exclusively in 14 markets and after that run, look for it on DVD/Blu Ray/VOD.  Here’s a brief synopsis of what this baby’s all about:  The story follows a mentally fragile college student named Ashley who, after learning of an urban legend in which a mysterious serial killer named “Smiley” can be summoned through the internet, must decide whether she is losing her mind or becoming Smiley‘s next victim.

Question is, will Smiley stand out or fade away like Chromeskull seems to have done after being paired with David Silver from 90210?  Before we attempt to answer the question that not many people are probably asking, let’s check out the trailer for Smiley and then prejudge it:

Hmmmmm – ok…..the mask is original.  I’ll give it that.  But why was I laughing so much during the trailer?  That couldn’t be intentional right?  The movie’s not called Laughie after all (groan).  I guess I should have only been smiling (groan again).  Let’s just get it out there on the table that the female leads leave a lot to be desired when it comes to the acting department.  I’m a sucker for a good bad horror movie, so here’s hoping that it at least brings the blood and guts and a decent story to distract from the subpar thespian skills.  And wait a minute – how could I forget Keith David?!  He’ll make any bad movie watchable and his voice is just so soothing.  Btw – this flick and it’s makers have a HUGE following on Youtube (over 15 millions views), so it will be interesting to see what kind of numbers it does in it’s limited run.  Check it out here to see if it’s playing in your neck of the woods!

*proof that acting classes can pay off!*

*i wanna give a shout out to my baby mama*