Worst Axe In A Horror Movie Ever: Stage Fright (1987)

Recently, I finally sat down and watched the 1987 Italian slasher flick, Stage Fright.  And overall, it pretty much lived up to all of the expectations I had about a horror movie with a killer wearing a giant furry owl head when stalking his brain-challenged victims.


Now let’s talk axes for a minute.  I really had to refrain from throwing in a ‘axe to grind’ pun by the way.  But anyway, towards the end of Stage Fright, our final girl Alice (Barbara Cupisti) is on the run from our killer owl and ends up in the rafters above the stage.  After knocking him down, to where he latches on to cable and tries to climb back up, she grabs his axe and starts to go to work on that cable to knock him down:

Ok.  I realize that the particular axe that Alice was swinging had recently been used to chop off someone’s head.  So maybe….just maybe, that activity dulled it a little to where she couldn’t cut through that cable with less than 20 attempts.  That’s right.  If you played along at home while watching the video and counted, it took 20 swings of that sharp axe to get through that cable and drop owl face like a sack of potatoes to the ground.

I’m sorry, but I can’t even use the whole “Oh, she’s a girl so she’s not as strong” defense on this one, because it’s an AXE.  They use these to cut down trees for God’s sake!  After the seventh attempt, the credits should have been rolling and Alice should have been enjoying a tasty beverage somewhere.  So because of that, I have to award the axe in Stage Fright as the Worst Axe In A Horror Movie Ever!  Somewhere, Paul Bunyan is sobbing.

Anticipation Alert: Stage Fright (2014)

If you want a successful trailer for your movie, you have to incorporate the song “Ode To Joy” and you need a healthy amount of Meatloaf.  That’s good news for the new horror and comedy hybrid Stage Fright then!  Now when you hear that title, you might think of one of Hitchcock’s lesser known films.  Or maybe the 1987 Italian slasher about a guy who kills people wearing an owl costume. But no my friends, this is an all new movie about a musical camp that is terrorized by a killer wearing a kabuki mask who hates the theater.


I’m sold on the poster and luckily if you are too, there’s a brand new red band trailer that just came out!  Now a word of caution before you watch it because there are spoilers abound.  Minnie Driver is in the movie and Minnie Driver according to the trailer, dies.  Meatloaf is in the movie and Meatloaf might die as well.  There’s a bukkake joke, so if you’ve already had your bukkake joke fill for the day, you might be disappointed.  Some of the gore gags are also shown, but hopefully Stage Fright doesn’t blow it’s load in this trailer.  It’s quite an impressive load though if it does.  Stay tuned for more info and buzz because it will be screened at this weekend’s SXSW Film Festival and will hit VOD on April 3rd.  Check out the red band goodness below!