Who says only stereotypical blonde bimbos in 80’s horror movies can have great hair? Move over, stereotypical blonde bimbos…..there’s new fur in town. I know it might be ‘ruff’ to realize that a rabid St. Bernard dog might show you up in the hair department, but let me introduce you to………..Cujo!
Control yourself, everybody. There are enough blood-soaked luscious locks to go around. Oh sure, Cujo could use a bath. He is a bit smelly, especially with the overpowering iron-based blood dripping all over his hair. But you can’t deny, he’s quite the specimen. Don’t let a little foaming at the mouth stop us from inducting Cujo into the class of Great Moments In Horror Hair History! Now someone get him a napkin, please.
……..I hate to say it, but I’d be on board. Why you ask? Because I think horror needs a good killer animal movie that doesn’t air on the SyFy Channel on a Saturday night. So yes, word got out the other day that the original production company and distributor from 1983’s Cujo, Sunn Classic Pictures, wants to commemorate the upcoming 30th Anniversary of the film with a new version. Normally I’d be on the whole “f*ck remakes!” bandwagon, but something about this one sits right with me. Just as long as they get another cast member from Who’s The Boss to have an asthma attack in the movie. (fingers crossed for Tony Danza)
*someone got into the strawberry jelly again!*
Question is – would they stick with the rabid St. Bernard or go a different route all together? A rabid Beagle perhaps? A Shih Tzu? Or maybe we can jump on the whole ‘pantyhose on a dog’ craze and do something with that? Nah……stick with the St. Bernard and keep it classic. He’s hulking, menacing, and at times he can be quite lovable too! Minus the foaming at the mouth of course. Unless you’re into that kind of thing. Stay tuned for more Cujo remake news and prepare for a Stephen King statement denouncing the movie!
*the real tragedy is that she paid full price for those shoes*