Best Terrible Transformation Ever: Sleepwalkers (1992)

We’ve all had those moments where we’re having a bad day and just wish we could transform into a giant werewolf cat.  Which makes this scene in 1992’s ridiculous Sleepwalkers even more relatable!  Now, I’ve talked about this movie before – and even with the Stephen King stamp on it, Sleepwalkers is a pretty hard pill to swallow.

But…….in some ways, I love it.  It’s pure ridiculousness, and Clovis The Cat is a true American hero!  Now watch below as Charles (Brian Krause) gets spooked by Clovis with a comically bad (but good) scary transformation.

Ebay Find Of The Week: Promotional ‘Sleepwalkers’ Satin Jacket!

What’s the one thing that always turns a lame holiday gift, into an amazing holiday gift. No, not alcohol.  Satin!  Yes, satin – the underrated fabric.  Well, if you’re looking for something incredibly satiny for that special person this year that loves 1990’s horror movies……then I’ve got just the thing for you.  Behold!  A promotional Sleepwalkers satin jacket!

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Ah yes – who wouldn’t love a satin Sleepwalkers jacket?  A great movie, it is not – but a fun one at the end of the day.  I always love perusing around on eBay by the way, looking at all of the old promotional horror movie merchandise that’s up there.  Sometimes you can find some real gems.  Not sure if this satin goodness falls into that category, but it’s a fine jacket.  And it’s only $200!  Wait, wait – come back!  I’m sure the seller will negotiate on the price if you need them to.

You can check out the listing HERE, where you can also see a front view of the jacket on a creepy mannequin wearing a Giants baseball hat for some reason.  Happy Holidays!

Great Moments In Horror Hair History: Cujo The Dog (1983)

Who says only stereotypical blonde bimbos in 80’s horror movies can have great hair?  Move over, stereotypical blonde bimbos…..there’s new fur in town.  I know it might be ‘ruff’ to realize that a rabid St. Bernard dog might show you up in the hair department, but let me introduce you to………..Cujo!

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Control yourself, everybody.  There are enough blood-soaked luscious locks to go around.  Oh sure, Cujo could use a bath.  He is a bit smelly, especially with the overpowering iron-based blood dripping all over his hair.  But you can’t deny, he’s quite the specimen.  Don’t let a little foaming at the mouth stop us from inducting Cujo into the class of Great Moments In Horror Hair History!  Now someone get him a napkin, please.

Review: IT (2017)

Have you heard the one about the evil clown named Pennywise that eats children and feeds off of their fears?  I guess the punchline isn’t going to really be funny.  Regardless, the wait is over and the revamped version of Stephen King’s IT movie has finally arrived in theaters!  Part remake.  Part redo.  And all business.  Literally, because it’s going to make a shit-ton of money on opening weekend (latest projection is around $130 million).  But does this new incarnation of IT live up to the hype, and how does it compare to the original 1990 mini-series of the same name?  The latter I won’t focus on too much, but the former I definitely will.   Continue reading

Monday Bloody Monday: ‘Belch’s Death’ From ‘Stephen King’s IT’ (1990)

Have you heard the news?  There’s some movie called IT coming out this week.  Yeah, you probably haven’t read or seen much about it, but apparently it’s a reboot/remake of the 1990 mini-series of the same name and a potentially much more faithful adaptation of the Stephen King novel.  Oh, I’m pulling your leg – you’d have to be living in a sewer to not know about this movie, since news of IT has been floating around everywhere.

So on this week’s Monday Bloody Monday, I felt it only right to go back to the original movie (which hasn’t aged well in spots unfortunately) and revisit one of my favorite scenes:  Belch’s death.  This scene always creeped me out as a kid, the way his body bends in half when he gets pulled in by the ‘deadlights’.  Make sure to keep watching and check out Henry Bowers’ wicked white Elvis hairdo too.  And make sure not to be a loser and go check out the new version of IT in theaters this week!

Have You Heard About This ‘IT’ Teaser Trailer?

Alright, clearly I was being sarcastic in the title of the post because the new teaser trailer for the upcoming remake/reboot of Stephen King’s IT was unleashed this week.  And judging from the response, people like it!  They really, really like it!  If you haven’t seen it, you should be ashamed – so here’s your chance right now:

Well, let’s talk about the big circus elephant in the room.  What can we expect Bill Skarsgard to deliver as far as Pennywise is concerned, and can he fill Tim Curry’s big clown shoes?  Since this is a teaser trailer, we get glimpses of him – but don’t get to hear the voice or really see any of his personality (which will be key).  He does seem to have some endurance and speed though, as evident from the final shot of Pennywise speeding through the water in the sewer.

My overall reaction to the new IT teaser trailer was pretty positive and it definitely left me wanting more.  ‘The Loser’s Club’ all look like they were cast well, and the visuals from director Andres Muschietti are striking – a much needed improvement over the 1990 TV Mini-Series.  Set to be released in two parts, the first half of IT will be in theaters on September 8th.  I’m anticipating a pretty big box office take considering the online reaction to the teaser trailer, so the hype train is definitely rolling fast down the tracks.  I myself, am finally tackling the original Stephen King novel (all 1138 pages) so that I can compare and critique everything revolving around the book, the TV Mini-Series, and the new version. Until then, let’s all have a slice of this delicious Pennywise cake and await September 8th!

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Give Me The Creeps: ‘Tea Time’ From ‘Stephen King’s IT’ (1990)

With the newly rebooted and remade version of Stephen King’s IT coming to the big screen in a two-parter, I recently started to think more about the original TV mini-series from 1990.  Clearly most of the praise from that goes to Tim Curry giving a memorably creepy (and charming) performance as Pennywise The Clown.  But there are enough little bits and pieces sprinkled throughout that are just as creepy and never fail to give me the creeps.  Case in point:  Beverly’s visit back home for some tea time.

Granted this scene is much different than how it plays out in the book (this was regular TV after all), but goddammit if I still don’t get the shakes when the old lady starts slurping her tea.  And then when she turns into an old and rotten version of Beverly’s Dad?  Phew. Check please!  We shall see how the big screen treats this when the new version of IT comes out later this year, but suffice to say that I still to this day get the creeps from the TV version.  Beep Beep!

Give Me The Creeps: The Window Scene From ‘Salem’s Lot’ (1979)

What the hell were my parents thinking when they let me watch Salem’s Lot on TV when I was 6-years-old?  Well, thanks Mom & Dad – because I’m still having nightmares about a ghostly floating vampire boy scratching at my window, just begging to be let in.

Not many TV movies nowadays could give me the creeps (unless the acting in Sharknado counts), and Salem’s Lot definitely succeeded there numerous times.  Released as a TV mini-series that was based on the novel by Stephen King, this is easily one of the better vampire horror movies around.  The window scene is the true master here (sorry, Barlow) and that is the scene that makes me grab at my blankey extra tight.  I’ll leave it up to you, the reader, to determine if I really do still have a blankey.  But anyway, high praise goes out to you Salem’s Lot and your creepy ass window scene – you will forever give me nightmares.  Oh, Hi Barlow!  How long have you been standing there?

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Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Steamroller Death’ From ‘Maximum Overdrive’ (1986)

There is a problem that is plaguing the world that no one seems to want to talk about.  And that problem is:  Steamrollers.  Not just any kind of steamroller though, because that would be boring.  I’m talking about the kind of steamrollers that are able to operate on their own and hunt down small kids who play Little League baseball and then run them over.

On this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I’m taking a trip to Stephen King’s first and only time in the director’s chair.  It’s all about Maximum Overdrive and even though Mr. King should definitely stick to writing and leave the directing to someone else, he sure knows how to film a kid getting squashed by a maniacal steamroller.  Feast your eyes below and pour some liquor out for that little guy while you’re at it.