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**Knock Knock** (door opens)
“I’m here for the Bliss party.” “Wait, what? It was last month?? Dammit.”
Ah yes, I’m late to another party. But not just any party……the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer! Um, I mean……the Bliss party! Ah yes – Bliss is writer/director Jeff Begos’ third feature film (his first being Almost Human, which honestly I didn’t love). But with this one – Begos gave me a gore boner, and also gave me an eye boner too (if that’s a real thing)…..because those visuals and the overall style and vibe of Bliss left me having Mandy flashbacks (in a good way). I debated throwing a clip from the movie in the post, but check the trailer out instead:
During these ‘end of days’ times we’re living in right now, Bliss was a perfect viewing – not because the subject matter matches our current quarantined conditions, but because it was a brisk and gory good time! Did I mention the music? The vampire aspect? The standout performance of Dora Madison? The gore? (the head snapback got me) And what about George Wendt? (Norm!)
Bliss clocks in around 80 minutes so it doesn’t really have any time to drag around. Once the drugs make an appearance, the vampires aren’t far behind. And from then on, sit back and enjoy the show (and possibly get a seizure from the visuals too). While the storyline sort of made me think of 2015’s The Devil’s Candy (sans vampires of course), Bliss did enough to stand out on it’s own. Being that I’ve already heard good things about Jeff Begos’ new movie VFW, I’m psyched to see not only that – but what he brings in the future as he seems to be hitting his stride. Go check out Bliss on Shudder now! They’re doing a free 30-day promo (Code = SHUTIN) for all my fellow quarantiners. Not sure quarantiners is a word, but it is now.
It seems just like yesterday that I was downing an entire bottle of champagne by myself in my apartment while the clock struck midnight on December 31st. The point of that sentence is not to indicate that I live a lonely and pathetic existence, but to state the fact that another year has come and gone and it’s time to talk about the best and worst horror movies of 2017! Fun fact: There were a lot of good horror movies this past year. So I’ll try to narrow those down to my Top 5. You’re free to disagree if you’d like. Let’s get to it!
Having already jerked off the poster for The Devil’s Candy the other week and the overall premise of the movie that apparently fuses horror and heavy metal together, I come bearing great news for those who loved the poster as much as me! A teaser trailer has been released, and it has everything you could want. Except the English language. Yeah, unfortunately it’s in Russian and doesn’t have subtitles. Although I did make out someone saying “Metallica” at some point.
Nevertheless, the visuals alone are worth the watch and if you do speak and understand Russian, then it’s a bonus for you! By the way, The Devil’s Candy is written and directed by Sean Byrne who did The Loved Ones, one of my favorite horror movies in the last 10 years. Check the Russian-fused trailer below:
It’s rare that I see a horror movie poster and get a boner. What’s even more rare is when that poster doesn’t have a scantily clad woman on it, but instead has a guy with a wicked guitar and lots of blood. Ok – this isn’t helping my cause. Just take a look at the new poster for The Devil’s Candy and let the horror boners commence!
BOING!!! Ok, now I’m just hearing about The Devil’s Candy, but much like the poster – the movie itself sounds awesome too. Check the brief synopsis below:
“In this creepily haunted-house tale a struggling painter is possessed by satanic forces after he and his young family move into their dream home in rural Texas.“
The Devil’s Candy premiered last year at the Toronto International Film Festival and the response seemed to be overwhelmingly positive. No said date for a release here in the US and no trailer yet (which mildly kills my horror boner), but fear not – because the poster is a good sign of good things to come! Satanic happenings? Metal music? Lots of blood? Yes, yes, and yes please. Stay tuned for more info on The Devil’s Candy!