When Horror Movies Give You A Complex: The Kindred (1987)

As a 12-year-old boy, I was fairly impressionable.  My sensitivity was growing and my voice was changing at a steady pace.  So with sensitivity on the rise, I remember seeing the VHS cover in 1987 for the creature feature, The Kindred, and having to pause for a moment because it was the first time I had seen my birth name associated with a horror movie.

Well what the f*ck?  Why does Anthony have to be a mutant little baby creature?  And why did I have to think about if I should have been brought into this world? Now granted, my Mom was really the only one who called me Anthony, and it was usually when she was mad at me.  But I was 12, and you know I was doing the typical 12-year-old shit back then.  So I heard the name Anthony a lot.  And to make matters worse, just watch The Kindred and see how many times they say Anthony and associate it in a non-flattering way to this murderous slimy sucker.

But maybe I should have embraced it back then, and I should find a way to embrace it now.  It’s somewhat an honor I suppose to have your name muttered in correlation with something evil in a horror movie.  Would it have killed them though to make Anthony look a little more menacing?  C’mon FX people!  He does look awfully similar to the claymation wonder from the ZZ Top video for “TV Dinners” that I talked about last week:

*they really are adorable at that age*

Now the real sad news besides me being an overly sensitive 12-year-old boy, is the fact that The Kindred has never been released on DVD.  Is it a good movie?  No.  But is it required 80’s cheesy horror viewing?  Maybe.  I’m sure at some point it will get that slightly deserved release, but if your name is Melissa, I must warn you.  That character in the movie turns into an ugly gill-faced fish woman at the end.  Enjoy!

*looks like we’ve got bigger fish to fry*