Required Halloween Viewing: The Funhouse (1981)

Sorry to burst your bubble Michael Myers, but you’re not the only required viewing on Halloween night.  Granted, I’ll be watching my fair share of the Halloween franchise leading up to and on October 31st, but it’s not the only game in town that sets the mood for All Hallows’ Eve.  Isn’t that right Tobe Hooper’s 1981 underrated slasher, The Funhouse?

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Easily one of my favorite guilty horror pleasures ever, this movie screams Halloween night viewing.  It even has an opening scene that pays homage to the 1978 John Carpenter classic!  And it’s just as incestuous as well.  But incest aside, The Funhouse is definitely fun.  Sorry for my lazy writing, but it’s Monday so give me a break.  I myself love the old school dark rides that you’d find at amusement parks and creepy small town carnivals, so I was immediately in just based off of that alone.

The Funhouse is definitely a slow burn horror movie, but while it’s burning you get rewarding things like:  actor Kevin Conway taking on three separate roles, a big giant fat laughing lady that sits atop the funhouse attraction, a creepy Frankenstein mask wearing creature that has equally creepy make-up effects underneath that mask courtesy of legendary artist Rick Baker, and four stupid teens who think it’ll be ok to spend the night in a carnival ride.

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At the end of the day, The Funhouse doesn’t reinvent anything when it comes to the horror genre, but in it’s own special way it separates itself from the slasher herd.  The money shot doesn’t disappoint when The Monster reveals himself before strangling the big breasted fortune teller to death – and from there on out it really becomes a nifty little ‘cat and mouse’ game.  A horror movie is usually only as good as it’s villain, and in The Funhouse the combo of The Monster and Funhouse Barker take on that role and satisfy those who watch in the process.  So do yourself a favor this Halloween and give this ‘little slasher movie that could’ a shot.  You could do a lot worse.  Right, Halloween: Resurrection?

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Holy Armadillos! New Poster For The 40th Anniversary Of ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ Is Released

Thanks to Entertainment Weekly, we get a glimpse at a new poster to commemorate the 40th Anniversary of Tobe Hooper’s 1974 classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  And it’s good news if you’re a fan of armadillos!

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A new remastered version of the iconic horror film will make it’s debut at the SXSW festival this Monday.  But let’s talk about this poster for a minute.  Some might complain that it’s light on chainsaws, but I personally love it though.  It’s got the infamous van with the creepy hitchhiker blood smeared all over it.  And the colors really pop, which is always better than the alternative of the colors not popping.

The poster does bring to light an unfortunate realization that we must all come to terms with though:  The senseless killing of armadillos.  These strange creatures deserve better than to be left on the side of the road on their backs. It really can just start with one kind gesture to your fellow armadillo the next time you see him (or her) while you’re wandering in a waterless desert.  You will be rewarded with good karma.  Ok, now let’s see a pic of the crazy hitchhiker who smeared his blood all over the side of the van!

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News: Here’s Some Buzz – The New Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D Poster!

Hey, guess what?  They’re making another attempt at revitalizing a classic horror franchise!  Yay!!  Slight sarcasm there, but somewhat well deserved. News broke earlier in the year that Lionsgate would be relaunching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 2013, but this time it would be in 3D! Ooooooh!  Now before I get into the storyline for the new revamp, let me vent about 3D.  Unless it’s going to be the fun, midnight movie variety a la Friday The 13th Part 3, where popcorn and yo-yos are flying at the screen, count me out.  I just don’t want to see my horror movies in 3D, unless the intentional cheese factor is there.  Who wouldn’t want to see an eyeball literally come springing out at the screen after all?

*BOING!!*

So the set up for the new Leatherface romp is this:  Texas Chainsaw 3D continues the story of the homicidal Sawyer family and picks up where the Tobe Hooper 1974 classic left off.  After Sally (Marilyn Burns) escapes, word around town spreads about the evil that’s going on at the Sawyer farmhouse and they proceed to burn it to the ground, killing every last member of the family – or so they thought.  Flash forward decades later and we meet a young woman named Heather who learns she’s inherited a Texas estate (lavish mansion) from her grandmother she never knew she had.  After embarking on a road trip with her friends to check it out, she stumbles upon a horror that awaits in the mansion’s dank cellars…..

I will say that the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre still rattles the old nerves every time I watch it.  But some of the sequels, like Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, rattle the old funny bone and I can’t get enough of Matthew McConaughey’s bat shit, over the top performance.   Continue reading