Asshole Kids Of Horror: Curtis From ‘Bloody Birthday’ (1981)

Thank God for YouTube, because someone was kind enough to string together some of Curtis’ greatest hits and quips from the 1981 slasher Bloody Birthday.  Oh wait – who’s Curtis, you ask?  Well, he’s one of the three bratty ass kids causing a ruckus because of a solar eclipse or something.

Bloody Birthday is ridiculous, but fun.  And Curtis’ snarky and sassy ways are a big part of that ridiculous fun.  He’s pretty terrible at shooting a gun btw.  Curtis (Billy Jayne) is one of those horror villains that deserves a nasty demise.  Unfortunately, the worst he gets is wrestled to the ground and tied up by one of Mike Seaver’s friends from the TV show Growing Pains (the one not named Boner).  But anyway, please enjoy the Curtis compilation below!

Underappreciated Slashers: Girl House (2015)

Once in a while, a slasher film comes along that really gives me those funky 80’s slasher vibes.  What is the criteria for that, you ask?  Well…..hot girls, a lot of gore, and more hot girls!  Luckily we had a movie give us that criteria in 2015, but a lot of you may not have seen it.  It’s called Girl House.  And yes, it has girls in it.  See?

girlhouse_31

Oh sure, there are girls in Girl House.  And really hot ones if I’m being completely honest. But what I really dug about the movie is that it doesn’t skimp on the gore either.  Yes, it’s the typical ‘bullied kid grows up to get revenge and kill a bunch of people who bullied him‘ scenario, but Girl House is actually well done on a technical level.  The practical effects hit the mark, and our killer named Loverboy is unapologetically brutal and brooding – exactly what a slasher villain should be!  Any horror movie that isn’t afraid to be brutal to kids gets a ‘horror stamp of approval’ from me as well.  See Exhibit A below:

Mean spirited?  Yeah.  But effective from a horror standpoint.  I admire horror movies that come with fresh ideas and give us something that we haven’t seen before.  But I also admire the horror movies that pay homage to a time when VHS copies of movies like Girl House were flying off the shelf at your local Mom & Pop rental stores.  So seek out this underappreciated slasher if you can, especially if you’re into a lack of plot and lots of gore. Oh – and did I mention the hot girls?  Yeah – lots of hot girls.

girlhouse-4

Ok…..So This New ‘The Town The Dreaded Sundown’ Trailer Is A Nice Surprise

Ok – here we go again with one of those impressive movie trailers that will either allow the film to live up to the hype or drown in it’s own mediocre bullshit.  I must say that I’m impressed by this one, so let’s get right to it and check out the trailer for The Town That Dreaded Sundown:

Think of this as a sequel/reboot to the 1976 movie of the same name.  I’ve always loved the whole ‘sack head killer’ angle (My favorite Friday The 13th sequel is probably Part 2), so it immediately gets points for that.  And I’ve been fiending for a good slasher film because I’m bored with all of the paranormal/demonic stuff.  Sometimes you just need some good ole fashioned slashin’!

And if you’re a fan of American Horror Story I’ve got good news for you because one of their directors, Alfonso Gomez-Rejon, directed this movie.  That’s another aspect I love from the trailer – just the overall look of it.  Bonus points for not looking cheap.  Look out for The Town That Dreaded Sundown to hit select theaters and VOD in October (just in time for Halloween!) and we can all only hope that the trombone will make another appearance in this one.  Yeah – he kills her with a trombone.  That really happened.

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘Death By Bees On The Toilet’ From ‘Sleepaway Camp’ (1983)

What’s worse than being on the shitter and finding out that you don’t have any toilet paper?  Being on the shitter and having a homicidal woman with a penis unleash a bunch of angry bees upon you.

Welcome to this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday where I’m putting 1983’s loveable slasher flick Sleepaway Camp in the spotlight.  More specifically, the scene where our sneaky transgendered killer disrupts Billy’s private time on the toilet with a swarm of bees.  Let’s just say that if poor Billy was having a nasty bout of constipation, that was quickly about to be the least of his worries.