Just Here To Give Tobe Hooper’s ‘Lifeforce’ A Little Love!

When I think of ‘bad but good’ 80’s horror movies, Tobe Hooper’s Lifeforce will almost certainly always get mentioned.  Space vampires?  Oh, ok.  Who doesn’t love space vampires?  And boobs.  Can’t forget about the boobs.  I unfortunately didn’t see said boobs (my apologies to actress Mathilda May), because my Mom would always make me cover my eyes when any melons would grace the TV screen.  Nonetheless, Lifeforce is a guilty pleasure – and some might even say an underrated gem?  This scene below used to scare the shit out of me as a kid, so please watch it.  And dig those practical effects, man!

When you look at the first half of Tobe Hooper’s career as a director, it’s pretty damn impressive.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Poltergeist will always get top billing, but it’s those surprise smaller films like The Funhouse and Eaten Alive that gave his horror resume a boost.  And yes, Lifeforce is part of that boost as well.  Btw, did you know that Billy Idol was supposed to play the head vampire in the movie??  But alas, it was not meant to be as Billy’s touring schedule conflicted with the film’s production.  Nevertheless….even without Mr. Idol’s spikey blonde hair, Lifeforce still remains a goofy/fun ride.  Seek it out (Scream Factory did a nice release of it somewhat recently), and enjoy the space vampires, the boobs, and the boobs.  Boobs!

Best Vampire Fingers Ever: Radu From ‘Subspecies’ (1991)

If you’re a vampire, you need to either have rugged good looks or extremely long gangly creepy fingers to get the ladies.  If you’re ever seen the straight-to-video 1991 movie Subspecies, then you know where Radu (the head vampire) falls between the two.  Not saying that Radu is ugly or anything (he’s an acquired taste), but it’s all about those fingers! Ladies, try to contain yourself while you watch the original trailer for Subspecies below:

Other than Puppet Master, the Subspecies franchise is easily my favorite in the Full Moon catalog.  And I honestly always thought that Radu (played brilliantly by Anders Hove) was an underappreciated vampire.  If only today’s generation could appreciate Radu.  If only there were another Subspecies movie coming out soon to help with that appreciation.  If only Anders Hove was reprising the role of Radu.  Do you see a pattern of my thought process here?  Well, it just so happens that Bloodrise: Subspecies 5 is coming later this year!  Get ready to drool over those vampire fingers again, everyone…..and stay tuned for more info!

Horror Movie Posters I Love: Vamp (1986)

I’m sucker for fangs.  Ahhhhhh – see what I did there?  Unintentional puns are the best!  So it’s really no surprise that one of my favorite horror movie posters of all time is for the 1986 horror/comedy hybrid Vamp.

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Quite honestly, it’s a gorgeous poster.  Now just a quick sidebar:  If you haven’t seen Vamp, then you might not get the subtle awesomeness of the poster.  This post is strictly about just that, so I won’t disclose my feelings on the actual movie (but with Grace Jones, vampires, boobs, and pure cheesiness – how can you go wrong?).

The poster is simple, but it works.  The red from the lips pops right off, with the ‘V’ and the ‘M’ in the title forming a pair of fangs of course.  This movie is about vampires, so fangs are a must somewhere on the poster.  The only thing I’m not jazzed about is the Vamp tagline “A Frightening Comedy“.  Meh.  Pretty boring and could have used something more fun and clever to coincide with the tone of the movie.  But overall, I honestly love this poster and would display it proudly on a wall next to my Grace Jones shrine.  Fangs for reading this post and look out for the next installment of ‘Horror Movie Posters I Love‘!

Great Scenes In Good Movies: 30 Days Of Night (2007)

Certain horror movies frustrate the hell out of me.  And nothing is more frustrating than having a GOOD horror movie with a GREAT scene.  Why you ask?  Because it shows that the potential was there to make that good movie a great one.  To me, nothing personifies this more than 2007’s vampire flick, 30 Days Of Night.

First off, I don’t hate this movie.  I actually kind of like it, but when I was done seeing it for the first time I realized that I could have loved it if it was done differently.  Too much screeching from the vampires.  Too much Josh Hartnett. And I never really believed that the group had really endured 30 days of night. But, I liked the overall look of the movie.  I liked Danny Huston.  And I absolutely LOVED this scene below:

Sigh.  That scene depresses me because it’s just so well done, and the movie as a whole is not.  That overhead shot is beautiful, in a sick and twisted way, and watching the carnage unfold from a bird’s eye view is rather glorious.  It actually reminded me of the opening to Zack Snyder’s Dawn Of The Dead from 2004. Hmmmm – maybe it was inspired by that?  Who knows.  But what I do know is that Danny Huston can play a record with his vampire fingernails, and that’s pretty awesome.

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Give Me The Creeps: ‘Chinese Food Maggots’ From ‘The Lost Boys’ (1987)

I’ve touched on my fear and disdain for maggots in the past, but please allow me to get deeper into the subject.  It started in 1982 with Poltergeist and the infamous ‘maggots in the steak’ scene where a guy tore his face off in the bathroom.  From that it went to real life maggot experiences, like when I was fishing on a family trip and I unknowingly picked up a piece of driftwood that was covered in them.  As if that wasn’t traumatizing enough, I have vivid memories of taking out the garbage cans at home at night when I was around 12.  Surprisingly while doing this chore, I found a bunch of maggots crawling all over my hand because of the hot and humid rainy weather that was occurring at the time.  Needless to say – I hate maggots.

So on this edition of Give Me The Creeps, I’m focusing on the scene from 1987’s vampire flick, The Lost Boys, where Michael is meant to believe from David that he’s actually eating maggots instead of rice:

Shudder.  I know that I seem like a wuss, but anything to do with those gross baby flies makes my skin crawl.  And the thought of ingesting them gets my stomach all in knots.  All maggot talk aside for a second, I love The Lost Boys  and even though this scene is the only scene that really creeped me out, I still hold the film up there as one of the best vampire movies of all time. By the way, I think my plans of having Chinese food tonight just got put on the back burner.  Now to keep that delicious maggot taste in your mouth, I want to leave you with some pretty amazing artwork from Jason Edmiston appropriately titled:  Maggots.

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