I’m apparently on a Vincent Price kick lately (see the previous House of Wax post), or it may be that my writer’s block has set in. Most likely a little bit of both. In any case, please enjoy this ad for Vincent Price hocking Monster Vitamins in the 70’s and trying to save you 25 cents in the process! What a swell dude.
As I sat here the other night after watching House of Wax (the 1953 version, not the version where Paris Hilton gets a big pole…..in her head), I realized two things: One of those being that I really miss Vincent Price. And the other being the undisputed fact that horror movies need more Paddle Ball Guys in them! Now, if you’ve never seen this version of House of Wax, then you’re probably more than slightly confused and wondering what kind of good shit I’ve been smoking. Well let me further explain myself with a clip so you can better understand what the hell’s going on:
Awwww yeah! How amazing is that guy? And trust me on this – he’s even more amazing in 3D! The beauty of this particular ‘3D gimmick’ is that it’s clearly so stupid, but clearly so goddamn fun. There are other gimmicky three dimensional moments like this throughout the movie, but nothing beats Paddle Ball Guy. But yes, I feel that my moderate campaign for more paddle balls in horror movies will fall on deaf ears. At least we’ll always have House of Wax to remind us all of the importance of balls flying at your face. Shout-out to a creepy-ass young Charles Bronson in that clip btw.
I guess the question is, who wouldn’t want to listen to Vincent Price talk about wine for 20 minutes?! Well, before you answer that – you should test drive the audio courtesy of Youtube from the 1977 album Wine Is Elegance. This was actually a bonus album that you got if you were a member of the Vincent Price International Cooking Course. Which sounds amazing in it’s own right by the way. Take a listen below and we’ll discuss afterwards:
Ok – well, I should have warned you to not listen to that in the morning or before you had your coffee. Although Mr. Price’s voice is normally intoxicating to the ears, you really have to be a big fan to make through the full 20 minutes of him talking about which wine you should drink if you’re serving pancakes for dinner. I don’t think he actually said that, but we’ll just pretend that he did. Anyway – this album is a nice little piece of kitsch from the 70’s and a great addition to your Vincent Price vinyl collection. You can snag one on Ebay for around $40. Now let’s reminisce about Vincent’s greatness some more and watch him trap three boys in a creepy Hawaiian cave so he can have his way with them. I made that last part up.