Give Me The Creeps: ‘The Biting Of The Penis’ From ‘The Last House On The Left’ (1972)

Well, if you read the title of the post, then you already know what road we’re going down.  Yeah, it’s the ‘dick biting’ road unfortunately.  Many things can give me the creeps in horror movies.  A disturbing doll sitting in the corner.  A child giggling before killing someone.  And most of all, watching a guy get his dick bitten off by a vengeful mother.  You see, anything done to that region of the body in a movie that inflicts pain usually will make me squirm in my seat like nothing else.  And one of the originators of this said act of violence was the late and great Wes Craven’s shocker, The Last House On The Left:

Fun fact for those who haven’t seen the movie – that guy who just got his junk chomped on is named Weasel.  Fitting.  So, a couple things after re-watching that clip.  And no, I will not mention that fact the Weasel can apparently “finish” 5 or 6 times if he wants to.  I guess I just did mention that though.

The main thing is that I was reminded of how awesome The Last House On The Left soundtrack is.  The music that kicks in when Estelle is about to do the dirty dick deed is pretty amazing and makes me think I’m playing a video game.  I don’t know that I could ever say “Oh, sweet Mama – here I come!” when I’m with a girl by the way.  Anywho, Weasel had that shit coming for being a disgusting rapist.  But man oh man – it doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable for a man to watch, and it still gives me the creeps.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go count my blessings that I have my penis.

5 Things That I’m Thankful For This Year……

With another year coming to an anti-climatic close, it’s time for me to reflect on the things that I’m thankful for in the horror world.  Let’s all hold hands and bow our heads and get into the thanking!   Continue reading

Great Moments In Horror Hair History: Roach From ‘The People Under The Stairs’ (1991)

As we all mourn the loss of the great Wes Craven, I felt the need to put a little spotlight on one of his movies that didn’t involve Freddy Krueger.  And that movie would be The People Under The Stairs.  A bit too quirky and weird for me to really appreciate back in 1991 as a 15-year-old boy, I’ve grown to love it and it’s partially because of one thing.  Ving Rhames?  Nope.  The crazy relationship between Man (Everett McGill) and Woman (Wendy Robie)?  Not quite.  It’s because of………………THIS HAIR!!!

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How many times do you think someone went to their hair stylist back in 1991 and said “Give me the Roach, please“.  Yes, one of the most memorable parts of The People Under The Stairs was indeed Roach, played by actor Sean Whalen.  And that was indeed a hell of thing when Roach sacrificed himself to help get Alice and Fool (great name btw) out of the house and bravely died because of it.  Sappy stuff aside, the real appeal of Roach was how his hair stood out (and stood up).  You know you have some great hair when it upstages the fact that you have had your tongue cut out.  So because of that, it gives me great honor to induct Roach into the class of Great Moments In Horror Hair History!  You and your sub-par tongue deserve it, buddy.

Sunday Bloody Sunday: ‘The D*ck Bite’ From ‘The Last House On The Left’ (1972)

It’s been said that a parent will stop at nothing to protect their children.  And in Wes Craven’s 1972 exploitation-horror gem The Last House On The Left, boy does that ring true.  In fact, some scenes in horror movies really need no introduction.  Especially ones where a vengeful mother takes matters into her own mouth.  And by matters, I mean a rapist’s penis.

Seemed fitting to have my first penis biting clip for Sunday Bloody Sunday on Easter as we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  I’m not quite sure what that means, but there’s some kind of deeper meaning hidden in there somewhere.  You just have to search for it.  Like an Easter egg hunt.  There we go!  Now everything comes full circle.  But anyway, this scene always made me cringe and hopefully it made you cringe too.  If not, then here’s something to fill your cringe quota for the week:

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