It’s time once again for one of my favorite features titled You Ain’t A Killer, where I give you my thoughts on that big killer “reveal” from your favorite slasher movie or one that you’ve never even heard of.  Going with the latter this time, I bring you the 2009 straight to DVD stinker, Cornered!  No I wasn’t excited when I just typed that sentence, the title for the movie actually has an exclamation mark attached to it.  Now if you don’t want me to ruin this gem of a movie for you, then please stop reading now.  Because this is where I tell you who the killer is and why it just rubs me the wrong way.  So without anymore hesitation, I’m hear to proclaim:  You ain’t a killer Steve Guttenberg!  Wait.  Did I just type the name Steve Guttenberg?  No Shit?

*memories…..light the corners of my mind*

So yeah.  Steve Guttenberg is a psychopath in this movie.  Let that sink in for a minute, especially my fellow 30-40 year olds who grew up an his cinematic antics.  Now let’s delve deeper into the Guttenberg madness, shall we?    Continue reading →