5 Things I Learned From This Scene In ‘Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker’!

I know most of you might think that the original Black Christmas is the best Christmas-themed horror movie ever, but I’m here to tell you that you’re right. Now aside from my agreement on that topic, another Christmas-themed horror movie that you need to see is Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker! I know you probably need convincing, so watch this clip below and I’ll tell you 5 things that I personally learned from this monumental scene in horror movie history:

Ok, here we go:

  • Always make sure to say something funny like “It’s to die for.” right before you knowingly send someone to their inevitable death.
  • He should have crashed at least 10 times considering his eyes rarely made contact with the road at any point in this clip.
  • Larry The Larvae is quite persistent.
  • Larry The Larvae must also be a vampire since no blood really appears when he pops the guy’s eyeball out.
  • It’s unfortunate that Mickey Rooney isn’t in this scene.

Well, that was fun I guess. Go watch this gem of a Christmas horror movie on Shudder now!

When The Poster Is Better Than The Movie: ‘Trick Or Treats’ (1982)

Surprisingly, I have not seen every Halloween-themed horror movie. And one of those that I hadn’t seen was 1982’s Trick or Treats! Not to be confused with Trick or Treat…or Trick ‘r Treat, I had remembered seeing the VHS version of Trick or Treats when I was kid – but I never rented it. Over the years, I became more and more curious because I had nothing better to do with my life. And the other night, it finally happened after 45 years! I had sex. Oh, and also I finally watched Trick or Treats!

And, I started a new paragraph to leave you in more suspense as to what my thoughts on the movie are. Well, I’ll get to the point I suppose: It was shit. Not even good shit, if you know what I mean. Like, I didn’t even finish the movie. That might be a first as far as Halloween-themed horror movies. Some lowlights: There was a kid playing pranks and a crazy guy escaping an asylum, David Carradine was in it for some reason, and also some person with the last name ‘Snodgrass’ which made me laugh. But anyway, I’ll save you the time and show you the best thing below about the movie…..the poster. So steer clear of Trick or Treats if you haven’t seen it, and go watch the other two movies with ‘Trick’ and ‘Treat’ in the titles instead!

‘The Oddities Flea Market’ Is Coming Back To Los Angeles October 8th & 9th!

As a lover of anything creepy and/or unusual, I am very excited that The Oddities Flea Market is coming back to downtown Los Angeles on October 8th & 9th!  If you’ve never been, then now is the time to prepare your eyes and your wallet!! It’s one of my personal favorite events to peruse, and what better time to do it than in October?? Halloween would encourage you to check this event out.

Prepare to be dazzled by wonders unimagined! Shop three curated floors of medical history ephemera, anatomical curiosities, natural history items, osteological specimens, taxidermy, home decor, jewelry, one-of-a-kind art, and much more.

Does that have your attention yet? Trust me when I say that the plethora of creepy/unusual vendors that will be on display will leave you in awe. AND they will make you want to spend your hard-earned money too! So don’t delay and grab your tickets HERE, and I will see you there! My wallet will be empty by the end of the weekend, but I will still see you there and will have no regrets.

LA’s ‘Haunted Hayride’ Returns This Year Sept 28th-Oct 31st!

Halloween Haunt announcements are in full swing, and now Los Angeles’ famed Haunted Hayride is getting into the mix! One of my favorite haunts will be returning to Griffith Park starting on September 28th and running allllllllll the way through Halloween on select nights. Check out more info below!

Guests can expect a return to Midnight Falls – a strange town that’s Halloween year round, featuring fan favorite mazes including the Hayride, Trick or Treat, Midnight Mortuary, and (S)Laughterhouse – a newly revamped maze for 2022. Monte Revolta – the self appointed Mayor of Midnight Falls – will be also making a triumphant return with his highly anticipated nightly Town Square performances. 

Presale tickets go on sale beginning Thursday, August 25th, with general public sales beginning Thursday, September 1st. General admission tickets start at $39.99, with limited presale tickets available at a discount while supplies last! You can go to the website HERE for more details. I personally loved the haunted mazes they had last year, so trust me – you won’t be disappointed. Scare you there!

Let’s Have Another Staring Contest…….

Egads! It’s Paul from the stellar 1988 remake of The Blob! He’s looking right into the soul of your eyes, so try not to be too intimidated…..but that layer of The Blob over his peepers probably helps your chances! Oh great, sexy 1988 version of Shawnee Smith (and also Paul’s girlfriend in the movie) just walked by trying to distract you. Nice try, Shawnee! It’s gonna take a lot more than that……oh dear God – it’s Kevin Dillon’s mullet from the movie and it just distracted you! Curses! Paul wins. But also dies because The Blob just ate him.

Interactive Horror Event ‘Delusion: Valley of Hollows’ Comes To Los Angeles In September!

As you may have noticed from my previous posts, we’re hitting the sweet spot of months as far as spooky events are concerned. And I have quite the announcement today to let you know that the ridiculously popular interactive horror theater series Delusion is back this year and better than ever with the cult-themed Valley of Hollows! Coming to Pomona, CA starting September 15th and running through October 31st, check the details and video below for more info on everything!

Thirteenth Floor and Director Jon Braver will once again bring his one-of-a-kind interactive horror theater series to life in the historic Phillips Estate with a new play titled Delusion: Valley of Hollows. Delving into an era never before explored in an interactive theater, the play will explore 1970’s American cults, with a supernatural twist. 

Delusionals will play the role of Deprogrammers; those meant to help rescue people from the influence of cults. During the 1970’s there was an influx of cults popping around the United States such as Children of God and The Manson Family. Since the disappearance of Esther Phillips over twenty years ago, a cult known as The Hollows was born. Fanatics from around the world have come to her estate, driven by rumors of a gift beyond this life, if only they would die on her grounds. Playing upon this phenomenon, Delusion will swallow its guests into its most disturbing interactive play to date where they will uncover the truth behind The Hollows.

Eeeek! My inner cult-loving self is screaming, as this sounds quite delightful. If you’ve never attended one of the Delusion events in the past, you’re in for a treat. It’s more than a haunted house, and more than just your standard horror-themed play. You will be involved, and the fact that it is interactive only makes the experience more unique and memorable. So……head on over to the link HERE and get your tickets NOW! You can find more info on everything in general there too (including the VIP Kool-Aid Bar….whaaaaaaaa???). Scare you there!

‘Son Of Monsterpalooza’ Returns To Burbank On October 14th-16th!

Tom Atkins. That’s all you really need to know. But I guess I’ll expand more on why I’m mentioning the legend’s name. It’s because Son Of Monsterpalooza is returning to Burbank, California on October 14th-16th! It’s in October, so it’s pretty much a no-brainer that you need to attend. Need more convincing? Tom Atkins. Ok, I’ll convince you even more though……

How about a Weird Science reunion with Anthony Michael Hall, Ilan Mitchell-Smith, and Robert Rusler?? Still want more? Ok…..then how about a Nightmare On Elm Street 3 reunion with a plethora of the original Dream Warriors in attendance?? Now I see you nodding your head. But wait…..Tom Atkins! Third time mentioning him and it doesn’t get old, but not only will the man and his mustache be there….but so will his Halloween III co-star Stacy Nelkin AND director Tommy Lee Wallace!

In addition to those mentioned guests and many more to be announced, Son Of Monsterpalooza will sport, as usual, some of the best horror-themed vendors around and some of the best full-on displays of makeup effects too! This is always one of my favorite conventions, so go HERE to see more info and grab your tickets. That weekend could sell out, so don’t say I didn’t warn you! Tom Atkins!!

Anticipation Alert: Barbarian (2022)

I won’t lie – I’ve been pleasantly surprised with the horror offerings in 2022 so far. And I’m going out on a limb here when I say that I am pretty sure I will be pleasantly surprised with the new movie Barbarian coming out on August 31st. The trailer snuck up on me when I saw it before The Black Phone (another nice surprise), and it did what a trailer should do: Don’t give too much away, make you interested in exactly what the hell is going on, and serve it up with a side of creepy imagery….loud noises….and an anxiety-inducing score.

Speaking of trailers real quick…..(begin rant) I’m sure everyone has seen the TEASER trailer for Halloween Ends. It’s gotten high praise for not giving too much away. But…..we all remember how much the official Halloween Kills trailer gave away, right? Now, either the brainiacs over at Blumhouse finally figured out how to cut a trailer to actually keep you interested and intrigued and not give us too much…..or there will be a full blown new trailer coming that shows everything. Just had to put that out there for everyone that’s so excited that the Halloween Ends TEASER trailer didn’t give away everything in the movie. But anyway…….where was I?

Oh! Barbarian! Yes, I’m excited. And it has been screened already and the buzz is good. Good buzz is better than bad buzz or no buzz. A lot of mentioning in review blurbs about ‘going in blind‘ and ‘what the fuck did I just watch?‘, so my advice is to see this as soon as you can on or before August 31st to avoid your Instagram friends plastering up spoilers and ruining everything. Peep the trailer below for Barbarian:

Looking Back On That Twist In 2009’s ‘Orphan’…….

Vera Farmiga was in the 2009 horror movie Orphan. She sure is a pretty lady. Oh man, I remember watching that movie and seeing her and thinking……….

Wait, what? The twist?? Yeah, Chubby Checker created that dance. Ohhhh, the twist from the movie! Right, that’s what this post is supposed to be about. And what a twist it was. It’s been 13 years, so if you consider this a spoiler then I sincerely apologize. You see, the big twist was that Esther (the psychotic lead in the movie, played by Isabelle Fuhrman) was not a 9-year-old girl….something that was set up earlier in the movie. She was actually a 33-year-old woman! There was a reason for it (rare hormonal disorder), but it didn’t matter because what a doozy of a twist it was and still is.

It’s hard to get a good twist going nowadays by the way. And even harder, is keeping it secret and not having social media rugrats spoiler those twists. But anyway, I kinda love Orphan for what it is and the twist is kinda amazing if you think about it. The main reason I was thinking about this movie is because after 13 years, Esther is back in real prequel form! Once again played by Isabelle Fuhrman, the prequel Orphan: First Kill will showcase Esther with de-aging makeup as we see how she became psycho-cuckoo-nuts in the first place. Color me intrigued, and check out the trailer for Orphan: First Kill below, then go back and check out it’s predecessor for some sweet twist action!

Why The ‘Angel In The Church’ Scene From ‘Midnight Mass’ Is One Of My Favorite Things Ever!

Ah yes – Midnight Mass! No, not that stupid thing that my parents would make me go to on Christmas Eve. I’m talking about the much better Midnight Mass series on Netflix from Mike Flanagan. Yeah, the same Mike Flanagan who did The Haunting of Hill House and Bly Manor. Now I know that Midnight Mass isn’t necessarily new, but when Waxwork Records announced that it was releasing the series’ soundtrack on vinyl (done by The Newton Brothers btw) – it got me to thinking about the show again! And what sprang into my mind right away was that glorious entrance of the angel (Or…ummm…vampire? Or vamp-angel?) into the church:

Oh, when those wings pop out! But seriously, I love everything about that scene – and the nuttiness that happens shortly thereafter. I would actually not mind a spin-off or something with that thing. AH! And I mentioned earlier about the new Waxwork Records release of the Midnight Mass soundtrack! It’s a pretty spiffy release on 3LPs AND on snazzy colors to boot. You can order it HERE and it’s shipping now! Well, not right this second. You have to buy it first, silly – and then it will probably ship after.