Monday Bloody Monday: ‘A Tasty Smoothie’ From ‘Captivity’ (2007)

Happy Memorial Day, everybody!  And what better to remember and celebrate, than the infamous ‘blender’ scene from that terrible movie Captivity.  A for certain Saw rip-off, I stumbled upon Captivity for the first time in a long time yesterday on Showtime or something.  Being that I just can’t resist Elisha Cuthbert because of her exceptionally luscious “acting” skills, I had to take a trip down memory lane and re-watch it.

So, welcome to Monday Bloody Monday – where I’m going to probably ruin your breakfast or lunch if you watch the clip below.  Ever wondered what a ‘body part’ smoothie would taste like?  Oh sure, maybe if you added a little lemon juice and strawberries it wouldn’t be so bad, but Elisha Cuthbert’s character in the movie wasn’t so lucky.  Nope.  Instead she gets delicious blended severed ears and whatnot, literally forced down her throat!  Enjoy below – and if you really want to experience torture, then watch the whole movie.

My Gripe Of The Day: The New ‘[REC]4 Apocalypse’ Trailer

In 2007, a little Spanish horror film called [REC] took the found footage concept, flipped it around and put it’s stamp right on that sweet horror ass. The movie itself was kind of like walking through a haunted house – tense, scary as shit, and it set up what would be two sequels in the established franchise. 2009’s [REC]2 improved even more in my opinion on the original and 2012’s [REC]3: Genesis abandoned the found footage concept less than halfway through, suffering a lot because of it.

Coming this year is the 4th and final film in the [REC] series called [REC]4: Apocalypse and from the first trailer that just popped up, there is good news and bad news:

We’ll start with the elephant in the room and say that the biggest piece of bad news is that the found footage concept is seemingly gone for good.  No clue why they would do that to be honest.  When the original [REC] came out, I didn’t feel it was trying to piggyback off of The Blair Witch Project or anything. It was fresh and did it’s own thing.  So I’m kind of at a loss after watching the trailer that it’s been abandoned.  Because of that, [REC]4 just looks like another zombie movie, only this time it’s set on a boat.


Which brings me to a few good things about the trailer.  The boat setting is kind of interesting, because there’s a claustrophobic feel to it which usually works in a horror movie.  Director Jaume Balaguero is back and so is actress Manuela Velasco, who reprises her role of reporter Angela Vidal from the first film.  But I have a sinking suspicion that those few good things might dwarf in comparison to the found footage abandonment.  We’ll see in the end when [REC]4: Apocalypse (ugh….I kinda hate the Apocalypse addition in the title) hits theaters later this year!

Holy Shit Horror: The Opening Scene In ’28 Weeks Later’ (2007)

I’m not sure if the makers of 28 Weeks Later ever thought about giving away some promotional diapers at their screenings, because some of us could have used them during that opening scene.  No, I didn’t poop my pants everybody….but I do recall saying “Holy Shit!” after the 8 minute introduction was over.  Now, I’m not about to say that this sequel as a whole is better than Danny Boyle’s groundbreaking first from 2002, but the opening for 28 Weeks Later is easily on par with anything in 28 Days Later.

For those who have seen it, you know what I’m talking about.  And hopefully you share my enthusiasm as well.  If you haven’t seen it, the best I can do right now is provide a link from Youtube of the scene in full, but shown through the eyes of a camcorder.  You see, the copyright gods won’t let anyone put up actual clips from the movie, so this will have to suffice.  I can say that it’s some of the better bootleg footage out there in terms of quality, so we have that going for us.

Once the “In The House, In A Heartbeat” song kicks in, you know the rage-infested zombie shit is gonna hit the fan.  And when Don chooses himself over his wife and a random hungry kid, that’s when the reality of the situation sets in.  From there, we’re treated to a great zombie chase scene and then one of the best zombie water moments since Lucio Fulci’s infamous shark biting in 1979’s, Zombie.  This is how you do an opening sequence people, and luckily the rest of the movie didn’t dramatically fall off after this impressive little setup. So thank you 28 Weeks Later for your “Holy Shit!” moment and for almost (I can’t specify ‘almost’ enough) making me soil myself.  Now can we finally get 28 Months Later, please?