Ho-Ho-Holy Shit! The ‘Krampus’ Trailer Has Arrived!

I have to admit that I’ve become a bit obsessed and fascinated by the folklore involving Krampus, the horned and hoofed creature that would come around at Christmastime to torment bad little girls and boys.  Had I known about it as a child, I probably would have behaved much better considering the alternative if Krampus ever found me.  No child wants to be stuffed into a burlap sack and dragged away to a cave to be eaten.  And now finally, we will get a proper movie version of the story, thanks to writer/director Michael Dougherty, appropriately titled Krampus.

Well that looks like a lot of fun, doesn’t it?!?  For those living under a rock for the last 8 years, Michael Dougherty wrote and directed the AMAZING Halloween anthology movie, Trick ‘r Treat.  And if you’ve seen that (and shame on you if you haven’t), then you can see his stamp all over the Krampus trailer stylistically and with the tongue-in-cheek humor.

We haven’t had a really good Christmas horror movie in a while (Rare Exports was good, but more fantasy than horror in my opinion), so Krampus will be welcomed with open arms when it’s released in December.  Hopefully it will live up to the hype of the trailer and of the poster below, which somehow reminds me of another Christmastime horror movie called Elves.  Let’s just all hope that the comparisons stop at the poster for that one.  Look for Krampus in what will most likely be a small theater run (although I’m hoping for a bigger one) on December 4th!


Anticipation Alert: Bite (2015)

If barf bags are involved in the screening of a horror movie, you know that can only be a good sign.  Trust me, I’m not a vomit fiend or anything like that at all – but there’s something “special” about getting handed a barf bag before viewing time.  Publicity stunt?  Maybe.  Over-the-top promotional gag?  Most definitely.  But when you see the trailer for the new gooey insect horror flick called Bite, you might understand the marketing ploy:

I can admit that I’ve always had a fear of getting bitten by an insect and having it’s eggs be laid inside the wound and inside me.  I still get creeped out by the spider scene from the movie The Believers.  So naturally when I watched the trailer for Bite, I got the willies.  Overall, it seems it won’t win any major points for originality as it looks to heavily borrow from David Cronenberg’s version of The Fly.  Not that that’s a bad thing mind you, but we’ve kind of seen the whole ‘person transforms into an insect’ done before.  I’m looking at you Ticks.  But it’s hard to argue with the fact that Bite is already being praised for using grotesque gooey practical effects to enhance the infected girl’s transformation after she’s bitten on a Bachelorette retreat.


Yes, we’ve talked barf bags – but what about the news that people were fainting and actually vomiting after watching Bite on the big screen during the Fantasia Film Festival?  I actually do believe it, and hopefully I’m not getting roped into some devious and elaborate marketing scheme that will make me wake up one morning with egg on my face.  I do love eggs, but not enough to be humiliated.  I would assume that Bite will be making more festival rounds, especially after the buzz it’s generating (positive reviews are coming in as I type this) and considering that Halloween is coming up soon as well.  Stay tuned for more info and keep the Pepto-Bismol close by!

Anticipation Alert: Tales Of Halloween (2015)

Halloween is only three months away, and I’m already getting all of my ‘required viewing’ horror movies lined up to start the celebration.  In 2007, the ridiculously good anthology flick Trick ‘r Treat came busting onto the scene and has earned a right into that ‘required viewing’ category.  And speaking of Halloween anthology movies, I’m pretty excited this year because a new one called Tales Of Halloween is coming out on October 16th (limited theaters and VOD), and if the trailer below is any indication – we’re in for a fun ride:

Early word and buzz on this is that it’s as fun as the trailer looks.  Comprised of 10 short stories each done by a different director that intertwine throughout, Tales Of Halloween looks to be exactly what we need to cure our Halloween movie blues.  And the fact that there are some of your favorite horror actors, actresses, and directors involved only sweetens the deal.  Who you ask?  How about Neil Marshall, Darren Lynn Bousman, Lucky McKee, Lin Shaye, Adrienne Barbeau, John Landis, and Barbara Crampton to name a few.  So get ready for Tales Of Halloween hitting select theaters on October 16th and you will also have the option to relax in your own home and check it out on VOD.

Review: We Are Still Here (2015)

The housing market is booming right now, and it’s the perfect time to buy!  Just be careful if you come across an old house that used to be a funeral home and awakens every 30 years or so to murder whatever family is living in it.  Hey, it can happen.  And happen it does in the new independent haunted house offering, We Are Still Here.   Continue reading

Anticipation Alert: Howl (2015)

Werewolves seem to be the forgotten horror villain.  Oh sure, Lon Chaney Jr. put everything in motion as far as werewolf movies go back in 1941 with The Wolf Man.  Then in the 80’s, An American Werewolf In London and The Howling broke the mold when it came to special effects as far as werewolf transformations go.  And don’t forget about the early 2000’s when Dog Soldiers and Ginger Snaps put their independent stamp on the sub-genre.  But we’re talking about 75 years of content here, and the werewolf movie seems to sputter more than spurt.  So how do we change that?  By putting werewolves on train of course!

Ooooooh that’s right.  Werewolves on a train are definitely in full effect in the upcoming horror flick called Howl.  Directed by Paul Hyett (who gave us the impressive debut, The Seasoning House), this new take on the werewolf story takes place on and off of a broken down train as a band of riders come together to fight off a lycanthrope or two.  The trailer was just released and it’s pretty awesome.  And it looks like practical effects are going to take center stage!  Check it out below and get ready for more updates on Howl soon.

Holy Sh*t Horror: ‘Dumbbell Death’ From ‘Starry Eyes’ (2015)

You know the moment when you gasp while watching a horror movie and proceed to yell out “Holy Shit!” at that certain moment that is so astonishing, it deserves that kind of reaction?  Well, it’s been a while since a scene has made me do that.  So thank you to Starry Eyes, a mind fuck of a movie, for delivering those “Holy Shit!” goods.

If you haven’t seen the movie, then I would suggest not watching the clip below.  But maybe you’re just curious and are the type of person who looks up spoilers ahead of time because you just can’t wait.  Starry Eyes for all intent and purposes is a pretty damn good little horror movie.  Starts slow, and the storyline will sometimes have you ripping your hair out (those who have seen the movie will get that reference), but the last 30 minutes are bat-shit crazy.  And I mean that in a good way.  But there is a moment where you will be asking yourself “Did that just really happen?“.  And that moment puts the fire extinguisher scene from Irreversible to shame.  Yeah, I took it there.  So watch below if you want – or just do yourself a favor and watch the whole movie soon, as it’s now up on Netflix.  I’m not sure I can look at a dumbbell the same after this by the way.

Anticipation Alert: Stung (2015)

One of my worst memories as a child was excitedly running through the park by my house to get to my favorite swing on the playground.  That’s not the bad part – the bad part is when I unknowingly stepped on a bee and got stung.  Oh the pain that I would incur for about five agonizing minutes was torture to a young boy.  And ever since then, I was terrified of bees.

Which brings me to the real point of this post, which is to share with you my anticipation for an upcoming horror/comedy that centers around bees (more specifically: wasps) called Stung.

Lance Henriksen?  Giant Killer Wasps?  Lance Henriksen?!?!  Now, I’m more than willing to push my fear of bees to the side so I can sit down and fully enjoy Stung when it’s released later this year.  Obviously it’s not to be taken seriously and is definitely more in the horror/comedy range instead of straight horror.  Watching this trailer honestly makes me want to go watch some other giant killer bug movies like Ticks and Mosquito.  Get ready for Stung to come buzzing to theaters (sorry for that bad pun) sometime later this year and early reviews from screenings have been positive so far.  By the way, did you know that if you do ever get stung by a bee, you should put a mixture of baking soda and water on it?  It diminishes the pain and hardens the stinger so it pops out. You learned something today!


Anticipation Alert: The Gallows (2015)

Nothing pleases me more than having a teaser trailer for a new horror movie pop up on my screen that impresses me so much, I feel the need to watch it again.  Such is the case with The Gallows:

I’m hoping I’m not alone with this one, but I think that it’s of the better teasers I’ve seen in a long time.  Coming to us from Blumhouse Productions, this hopeful little treat arrives in theaters on July 10th.  Below is the synapsis for The Gallows:

20 years after a horrific accident during a small town school play, students at the school resurrect the failed show in a misguided attempt to honor the anniversary of the tragedy – but soon discover that some things are better left alone.

After watching the teaser trailer and then reading the synapsis again, I’m even more intrigued.  The red lighting in the teaser definitely wins me over, as does the final shot with the noose around the girl’s neck.  Speaking of necks, what the hell happened to that girl’s neck?  Was she bitten?  Is she having a bad reaction to a new lotion that she tried out?  We’ll see what the full trailer reveals, but for now – I’m definitely onboard with The Gallows.

5 Things I Learned From The New ‘Sinister 2’ Trailer

Who’s excited for Sinister 2 later this year?!?!  That was pathetic.  I said…..who’s excited for Sinister 2 later this year!!!!!!????  Still pathetic.  But anyway, yes Sinister 2 is coming whether you like it or not.  The sequel to the somewhat surprising 2012 hit starring Ethan Hawke is coming August 21st and the new trailer was unleashed the other week:

Now after digesting that, here are 5 things that I learned and observed from the Sinister 2 trailer:

1.  Shannon Sossamon is still acting.  Who knew.  Still have a crush btw. 

2.  Apparently, if you think you see something and you flash a flashlight at the spot enough times, something will definitely appear.

3.  Could this possibly be moonlighting as a Children Of The Corn sequel?

4.  Is Bagul the Michael Jackson of horror villains?  (c’mon, you can figure that one out)

5.  Somewhere in the world, Sherlock Holmes is laughing at Deputy So & So.  

Review: Clown (2015)

I’ve got coulrophobia.  No, it’s not contagious and it’s not something that I have to go get checked out at the doctor for.  There is no medicine.  There is no cure. Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns.  And thanks to the new Eli Roth produced horror movie Clown, my coulrophobia is out of control.  Continue reading