Tag Archives: 2019 horror movies

Quarantine Movie Of The Week: Bliss (2019)

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**Knock Knock** (door opens)

“I’m here for the Bliss party.” “Wait, what?  It was last month??  Dammit.”

Ah yes, I’m late to another party.  But not just any party……the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer!  Um, I mean……the Bliss party!  Ah yes – Bliss is writer/director Jeff Begos’ third feature film (his first being Almost Human, which honestly I didn’t love).  But with this one – Begos gave me a gore boner, and also gave me an eye boner too (if that’s a real thing)…..because those visuals and the overall style and vibe of Bliss left me having Mandy flashbacks (in a good way).  I debated throwing a clip from the movie in the post, but check the trailer out instead:

During these ‘end of days’ times we’re living in right now, Bliss was a perfect viewing – not because the subject matter matches our current quarantined conditions, but because it was a brisk and gory good time!  Did I mention the music?  The vampire aspect?  The standout performance of Dora Madison?  The gore? (the head snapback got me) And what about George Wendt? (Norm!)

Bliss clocks in around 80 minutes so it doesn’t really have any time to drag around.  Once the drugs make an appearance, the vampires aren’t far behind.  And from then on, sit back and enjoy the show (and possibly get a seizure from the visuals too).  While the storyline sort of made me think of 2015’s The Devil’s Candy (sans vampires of course), Bliss did enough to stand out on it’s own.  Being that I’ve already heard good things about Jeff Begos’ new movie VFW, I’m psyched to see not only that – but what he brings in the future as he seems to be hitting his stride.  Go check out Bliss on Shudder now!  They’re doing a free 30-day promo (Code = SHUTIN) for all my fellow quarantiners.  Not sure quarantiners is a word, but it is now.

Holy Shit Horror: ‘Senicide Scene’ From ‘Midsommar’ (2019)

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**This Post Contains Spoilers**

Ah, Midsommar.  Not quite my favorite horror movie of 2019 – but a damn fine effort and it definitely contained one or two ‘holy shit‘ moments, and made me never want to visit Sweden in the foreseeable future (although I do enjoy meatballs).

Since the movie is still relatively fresh, I don’t want to spoil too much.  But the one scene that really made me say “Holy Shit!“, was when a geriatric man and woman leap off a cliff to go along with the commune customs regarding senicide (the abandonment to death, suicide, or killing of the elderly).

First, the woman goes and the outcome is….ummmmm….rough to watch.  But director Ari Aster doesn’t stop there!  Oh no siree, Bob!  Next, the gentleman takes center stage on top of the cliff and….yeah….also pretty rough to watch.  It takes a lot for me to wince at on-screen violence.  Midsommar combined two winces into one scene.  Bravo.  Watch below, but if you haven’t seen it – you’ve been warned!

Sonofa…….why did I watch that again????  Anyway, go watch Midsommar if you haven’t already.  Hail, Paemon!  Wait, that’s the wrong movie.

You Will Chairish This New Trailer For ‘KILLER SOFA’!

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Ignore my bad pun in the post title.  Or celebrate it.  Whichever.  But speaking of celebrating, oh how I have longed for the day where I would see a horror movie about a chair killing people.  Yes, the movie is called Killer Sofa.  But let’s be real, it’s a recliner.  A sofa recliner, perhaps – but a recliner/chair nonetheless.  Straight outta New Zealand, Killer Sofa actually looks……..good.  Here’s a quick synopsis before I hit you with the debut trailer:

Francesca always attracted weirdos. When one of her stalkers is found dead, she looks for comfort from her best friend, Maxi. Meanwhile, Maxi’s grandfather, Jack, a disgraced Rabbi, comes across a reclining chair containing a Dybbuk inside. Jack and his voodoo sorceress partner try to find out where the recliner has been delivered while exploring Jack’s newfound gift for communicating with the other world. Meanwhile the reclining chair becomes enchanted by Francesca and starts committing crimes of passion.

See?  Told you it actually looked good.  In a bad ‘recliner chair commits bloody crimes of passion‘ kind of way.  Killer Sofa shall not be winning any Oscars this year, but I think it’s pretty clear that it’s not going for any either.  I sort of miss these kinds of movies to be honest.  I mean, I just re-watched The Lift this past weekend (a Dutch 80’s horror movie about a killer elevator) and it tickled my horror bone.  So yeah, I’m in on Killer Sofa, which will hit DVD and On Demand in October.  And thanks to my girlfriend for pointing out the similarities between the murderous recliner in the movie and Chairry from Pee Wee’s Playhouse.

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Review: Child’s Play (2019)

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Can I get my crow barbecued, please?  Yeah – I’m eating crow now because I poo-pooed the new remake/reboot of Child’s Play before it opened this past weekend.  Actually, I kind of dug the first trailer and had an open mind.  And when Mark Hamill was announced as the voice of Chucky (aka Buddi), my mind was even more open.  Then the second trailer dropped and I had doubts, at which point the poo-pooing began.  Next were the ads of Chucky destroying various Toy Story characters (that movie opened the same weekend), which seemed like ‘desperation time’ for me.  But…..low and behold – Child’s Play was actually (gulp) GOOD.   Continue reading →

Let’s Have Another Staring Contest…….

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Oh no!  It’s Chucky!  Or…..I mean, Buddi!  Or…..Chucky!  I don’t know, it’s all very confusing.  But regardless, it’s that doll from that new Child’s Play movie.  Look at those piercing, haunting blue eyes.  No seriously, look at them or you’re going to lose the staring contest.  Stay focused, man!  Try not to think about the comparisons to the original Chucky doll.  Or the fact that Brad Dourif isn’t doing the voice this time.  Or the fact that Luke Skywalker is.  (Throws coins on the ground)  Wait, that doll was distracted by money and you win the staring contest!  Seems fitting.  Oh – and go see Child’s Play this weekend.  Or don’t.  Either way it’s all good.

The Time That Jordan Peele’s ‘Us’ Divided The Horror Community………

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Oh, I love the horror movie community.  I calmly sat back and watched everyone either ‘praise’ or ‘tear apart’ Jordan Peele’s newest offering Us last weekend…..all while Mr. Peele went on to one of the biggest box office openings for a horror movie EVER with $70 million.  Love the movie or hate it, Us has people talking and it also has people going to the theater for a horror movie that maybe wouldn’t normally go.  And we’re seriously mad about that?  Pfffft. Continue reading →

Anticipation Alert: Candy Corn (2019)

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Finally!  Yes, finally we are going to get the Candy Corn movie after a few years of teases and funding drama.  Writer/Director Josh Hasty teamed up with my favorite Local Boogeyman and is now releasing the movie this year!  And…..perfectly in time for Halloween!  Want a teaser poster?  Here ya go:

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Well that’s all kinds of Halloween-themed awesomeness.  Hopefully Candy Corn can take the bad taste out of my mouth from last year’s Halloween remake.  So, not only does the move take place around Halloween – it boasts some heavy hitting horror vets as well in the cast: P.J. Soles (Halloween), Courtney Gains (Children Of The Corn), Tony Todd (Candyman), and Pancho Moler (Rob Zombie’s 31).  Brief synopsis below before I get into the really exciting stuff:

It’s the eve of Halloween in Grove Hill, Ohio.  A traveling carnival is in town for the weekend and local outcast, Jacob Atkins, has been hired as one of the freaks in the event’s main attraction, “Dr.Death’s Side Show Spook House Spectacular”.  Meanwhile, a group of local bullies are planning their annual public hazing of Jacob, but this year things go too far.

You want more?  Ok, ok.  How about if I leave you with the very first teaser trailer for Candy Corn?  And I have to say, the look of this really impressed me.  Kudos to Josh Hasty.  And kudos to you guys, because I know you’re going to support it when it comes out later this year!  Who actually likes candy corn candy btw?

The ‘Pet Sematary’ Trailer Heard Round The World!!!

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I was having a pretty boring Thursday morning, just eating my oatmeal and preparing for another mundane workday.  And then…..it happened.  The new Pet Sematary trailer was unleashed upon us and we would never be the same!  Mostly because Gage doesn’t appear to die in this adaptation.  Oops….spoiler alert.  Just watch the trailer below because there are a lot of spoilers:

Ok, ok.  So it appears Ellie, the older sister, is the one to meet a demise by way of ‘speeding big rig’ and Gage seems safe and sound.  It’s hard to judge that big switch just from a 2 minute trailer, but yes – it is indeed a big switch.  In a way, I applaud it though and I will reserve my final judgment on how it all plays out until I’ve seen this new incarnation of Pet Sematary in full.  I mean, do we really want to see a ‘note for note’ remake here of the 1989 version?  Having said all of that, I do think overall it looks pretty slick and there looks to be just as many ‘give me the creeps’ moments as in the original.  All shall be revealed, along with gratuitous ankle slicings, on April 5th when the remake hits theaters nationwide!