Is The VHS Cover Better Than The Movie: The Mutilator (1985)

Told you I would be giving you more of greatness that is know as The Mutilator!  Here’s a post I did for the retro/cult site Couch Cutter giving you more of that classic theme music and more.  Check out CouchCutter.Com for more posts in the future!

I can remember it like it was yesterday, even though it wasn’t.  I was an 11-year-old boy strolling around my local Mom & Pop video store looking at all of the latest VHS covers in the horror section while occasionally peeking over to the ADULTS ONLY section that was blocked off with a classy shower curtain. My eyes did their best to remain focused on the horror section though, and they locked in on a movie called The Mutilator.  Ok, one point for the title alone, but more points would be received because of the actual artwork and awesome tagline.

Now that’s a VHS cover!  The classic ‘dripping blood’ title.  The four victims hung on hooks, most notably the hot chick with the 80’s hair in the bikini.  And of course, that tagline.  ‘By sword, by pick, by axe….bye bye.’  I was positive the movie would be just as amazing as what I was looking at on the box! Snagged it up and took it to the counter and was rewarded with a VHS tape in a big ass plastic case. Took it home, popped it in my rusty VCR and this is what I saw:

Yeah.  That just happened.  A song called “Fall Break” (the original title to the movie btw) starts to play in the opening credits while the previously mentioned ‘dripping blood’ title card pops on the screen.  And then the saxophones come in.  That’s when an 11-year-old boy got worried, because he felt he was about to be a victim of the dreaded false advertising machine.  Would there be a lot of mutilating by the hand of a hairy-knuckled guy with a meat hook?  Would someone actually die by way of a sword, a pick, and an axe?  And where the hell was the hot chick with the 80’s hair in the bikini??  Who cares….just watch this clip for the most exaggerated death scene ever by a boat motor:

So was the VHS cover for The Mutilator better than the actual movie?  Let’s remember what dealing with here people:  80’s horror movies, which were being spit out onto video store shelves in spades every week.  For every good one, there were five bad ones, but those bad ones all had their own redeeming qualities.  And in the case of The Mutilator, there are some pretty sweet death scenes (the meat hook through the vagina was a winner) and of course the laughable, but enjoyable, dialogue and the horrible dark lighting.  The verdict is in:  The Mutilator is slightly better than it’s VHS cover.  Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but you could spend 90 minutes in worse ways. And to reward you for sticking around, I’m giving you the closing credits too, which of course have the “Fall Break” song attached and some random outtakes.  Because if any horror movie needs outtakes at the end, it’s one that has a meat hook going through a vagina.