Dirty Horror Memory Lane: The Evil Horde’s ‘Fright Zone’ (1985)

I am a self-proclaimed He-Man junkie.  Growing up, I pretty much had every figure and every playset, including the dangerous (according to my Mom) Slime Pit.  But one of the playsets that got lost in the shuffle was The Evil Horde’s ‘Fright Zone‘!

Well that was fun.  I’m actually thinking of grabbing one of these off of eBay soon just based off of the nostalgia alone.  I don’t have kids, so I would be playing with it by myself. Don’t judge.  But anyway, I was always more in favor of the ‘bad guys’ in the He-Man collection – so I gravitated towards things like The Slime Pit and Snake Mountain before I would go to Castle Grayskull.  Which is why I loved the Fright Zone so much.  And I could actually control the giant snake with my hand and gobble up all of the good guys.  If you need any more proof as to why Fright Zone is amazing, just look at that kid’s face below in the pic!  He’s having a blast.  And how about that hair too?!

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Dirty Horror Memory Lane: Blood Suckers Pen (1983)

Here’s a tip for you youngsters:  When you get older, you’re going to start getting a complex and will reminisce a lot more about the good ol’ days.  Don’t fear it.  Just embrace it.  And since I’m 40 now, I do a lot of that reminiscing.  So I’m sitting here on a lazy Sunday and just remembered that I used to have a pen when I was little that had fake blood in it that apparently was supposed to be a vampire bat.  And those pens were called Blood Suckers!  Here’s a terrible quality commercial from Youtube:

I’m pretty sure I terrorized kids at school with these and might have even gotten yelled at by a teacher or two.  And it didn’t help that they were Rated PG:  Pretty Gross!  Haha – that cracks me up.  But anyway, I’m now on a search for one of these because I love to collect things from my childhood and try and forget that I’m officially over the hill.  It’s those little things that can make a difference.  So if anyone gets a tip on where to grab one of these Blood Suckers for a decent price (I scour eBay on the regular), then hit me up.  Until then, I’ll keep reminiscing and think back to a simpler time when I was a 7-year-old boy frightening little kids at school with my pretty gross vampire bat pen.

Dirty Horror Memory Lane: ‘Rude Ralph’ Toy (1986)

I remember being a jealous 10-year-old boy in my small Indiana neighborhood.  While I was at home playing with my boring Etch A Sketch, the kid down the street was pulling the eyeball on his Rude Ralph.  And no, that’s not code for something else.  He was literally pulling the eyeball on a toy named Rude Ralph and hearing it make gross and disgusting noises.  Oh the envy I had of him and his newfound ugly toy friend.  I wanted to hear something make gross and disgusting noises other than my sister.

So what exactly was Rude Ralph?  Think of it like a Madball on steroids that belched and farted.  And if you don’t know what a Madball is, then please take your eyes elsewhere.  Rude Ralph came out in 1986 and didn’t last very long due to the complaints of snooty parents.  Hence why you have to shell out a decent amount of dough on eBay to snag one now.  If you’re still curious and a bit in the dark of what Rude Ralph was, please take a look at the old commercial below.  Oh – and it has a special bonus appearance from the Breath Blasters!

Do You Know About The ‘Super Secret Fun Club’???

Shhhhh…..it’s a secret!  Well not really, since I was able to find out about it on the internet.  But yes, I came across a website for the Super Secret Fun Club, which seems to specialize in creating limited toys and figures based on memories from your TV and movie childhood.  One of the reasons I’m spotlighting the Super Secret Fun Club on my site is because they seem to have a love for horror and sci-fi movies.  Case in point?  This ‘Kuato’ Total Recall figure in the guise of a M.U.S.C.L.E. toy figure from the 80’s:

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Any Total Recall or forgotten 80’s toy fan would want that!  Unfortunately it’s sold out now, so tough luck.  But I have good news!  There will be more released soon including one for the three-boobed chick from Total Recall, Large Marge from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, and even blobby Paul from The Blob remake!  Stay tuned to the Super Secret Fun Club Instagram page for more details and announcements and feel free to browse their store page HERE to see what’s available now.

Dirty Horror Memory Lane: My Pet Monster (1986)

I’ve mentioned before that I’m a total sucker for retro 80’s toys, especially when they have any type of horror theme associated with them.  Case in point: My Pet Monster!  Oh sure, he wasn’t that scary looking in my opinion (minus the fangs) and the mostly purple face wasn’t helping the cause.  He was still a monster though, and apparently had to be handcuffed because of his ill-tempered behavior.

According that commercial, My Pet Monster was indeed pretty scary when he wanted to be – but take off those handcuffs and he would help push you on a swing!  So overall, not a bad guy at all.  If you happen to still have one of these from 1986, you could be about $150 richer because that’s what they’re going for on Ebay.  Here’s some news I didn’t know regarding My Pet Monster:  It had it’s own short-lived cartoon that aired on ABC for one year.  And as a special treat, here’s one of the episodes below titled ‘The Masked Muncher’. I’ll let you giggle on your own about that title…..