That Time Roger Ebert Said ‘Phantasm’ Was A Mess (1979)

Not sure if you’ve ever heard of the movie Phantasm, but chances are you have.  And chances are that you liked it more than both Siskel & Ebert did back in 1979.  Ah yes, one of my favorite pastimes:  Looking up old Siskel & Ebert horror movie reviews on Youtube. And given that this year is the 40th Anniversary of Phantasm, I figured I’d snoop around and see if these two jokesters ever did a review when it originally came out.  And, they did!  Check it below:

Ok, ok.  We get it.  You didn’t like the ‘weird little stainless steel ball‘, Roger Ebert.  And Siskel’s snickering during Ebert’s rant only irked me more.  They did both enjoy the severed finger though, so there’s that.  I never did take their horror movie reviews seriously, but this one made me chuckle due to their obvious disdain for the ‘lack of explantation’ of anything in Phantasm.  Rule #1 for watching Phantasm:  Don’t take it seriously!  Just sit back, enjoy the visuals, enjoy the score, enjoy Angus Scrimm, and enjoy this song:

That Time Siskel & Ebert Shit All Over ‘Hellbound: Hellraiser II’ (1988)

Ah yes, one of my favorite guilty pleasures is back:  Finding old Siskel & Ebert horror movie reviews on Youtube!  Sometimes these two would surprise me with their views on 80’s and 90’s horror……and then other times things would go as according to plan.  Such was the case with the 1988 review of Hellhound: Hellraiser II.  Peep the video below and take a toboggan slide into hell…….

Well clearly all those involved with this movie missed an opportunity to call it Skinned Alive…..at least according to the late great Gene Siskel.  Now granted, I didn’t expect these two to like Hellraiser II – but it always tripped me out with how ‘out of touch’ they sounded with most horror movies they reviewed.  Easily my favorite bit from this particular review was Mr. Ebert proclaiming his annoyance with Kirsty (Ashley Laurence) and Tiffany’s (Imogen Boorman) names being said too much in the film (lol)!  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again by the way, if you are ever in need of an escape from reality……go on Youtube and watch Siskel & Ebert review old horror movies.  It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Let’s Listen To A Giddy Gene Siskel Talk About ‘Carnosaur’ (1993)

I’ve written about their show before, but one of my favorite memories of growing up was watching Siskel & Ebert every week to see if they were going to review any horror movies.  And nothing is more of trip than when they reviewed Roger Corman’s Carnosaur back in 1993.  I can’t do the clip any justice, but I will say that one of the highlights is Roger Ebert emphasizing that he thinks Stephen Spielberg will do a better job with the look of his dinosaurs in his upcoming movie (which of course was Jurassic Park).  And also Gene Siskel gleefully discussing and pleading his case for how good the plot was for the movie.  Just do yourself a favor and watch below, please 🙂

That Time That Gene Siskel Said ‘From Beyond’ Tickled Him……

Ah yes.  Thank the heavens for Youtube.  Because that’s where you can find old Siskel & Ebert clips from their show and see them reviewing old 80’s horror movies.  Up to bat in this post:  Stuart Gordon’s…….From Beyond!  Let’s hear what the boys had to say about it:

Where to begin with that.  Well, for starters – how about that kinky sex?!?!  Such prudes those two were.  How can you not appreciate Barbara Crampton in a leather dominatrix outfit??  But anyway, kudos to Gene for loving From Beyond!  He loved it so much that it “tickled” him too.  Sounds fun.  Roger was on the bubble with it – but at least he noted several times that he loved The Re-Animator.  It’s just called Re-Animator, Roger!  Geez.  I love watching these old reviews because it’s actually a huge piece of my childhood, and I can vividly remember watching this show just for the horror movie reviews.  Rest in peace to both of them – especially Gene.  Because he loved From Beyond, just not the kinky sex.

That Time That Roger Ebert Said ‘Child’s Play 2’ Made Him Feel Unclean & Disturbed……

With the kinda great news that our favorite psychopathic killer doll Chucky would be gracing us with his screen presence again in the upcoming Cult Of Chucky, I thought it would be fun to snoop around Youtube for anything Child’s Play related.  And boy am I glad I did!  Remember Siskel & Ebert?  They were a thing one time.  And it’s not an exaggerated fact to say that they really didn’t like horror movies.  But man oh man are their reviews of horror movies fun to watch!  Let’s watch Roger Ebert confess that Child’s Play 2 made him feel “unclean and disturbed“:

Well, at least Ebert gave some props to the overall production value of the movie.  After he called it “Sick, unwholesome, and a completely malignant exercise!” though.  If you do watch a majority of their horror movie reviews, you would come to the conclusion that horror movies were responsible for the hunger and famine problems in the world today. But anyway, to say this is an enjoyable watch would be an understatement.  Btw guys (and I know they can’t read or hear this because they’re both dead now), Child’s Play 2 was a movie about a talking killer doll trying to play a game called ‘Hide The Soul’ with a little boy.  Let’s not overthink things, mmkay?