So, ‘Halloween’ Is Returning In ‘Halloween Returns’?

Good news for all of you Michael Myers and Halloween fans who are also fans of the 1989 Wes Craven ‘so bad it’s good’ movie, Shocker!  It looks as though the upcoming reboot/redo, Halloween Returns, will indeed have Michael Myers on death row and being sent to the electric chair while two vengeful onlookers watch him about to die.  Horace Pinker, anyone?


I have to say that even after the bad taste that was left in my mouth from Rob Zombie’s Halloween II (I actually didn’t mind the first one), I’m onboard with another Halloween reboot.  The good news is that as previously reported, it won’t be in 3D and looks to be a standalone entry as well.  Directed by Marcus Dunstan (The Collector, The Collection) and also written by him and Patrick Melton, this could surprisingly breathe new life into the franchise IF the following steps are properly taken:

–  Get a good mask.  At least the Rob Zombie films had that going for them. 

–  Don’t overthink the plot.  We don’t need any satanic cults running around this time.  We get it….Michael Myers is evil.  It doesn’t need to be overstated. 

–  Less is more.  Make it scary.  I’m all for bringing back the subtleness of Michael’s character (popping up in the background of shots, minimal but effect score, etc). 

–  No Jamie Lee Curtis cameos, please.  I love the woman, but her time in the Halloween franchise died when she did in that awful Halloween: Resurrection crapfest. 

– Speaking of that crapfest – no unnecessary rapper cameos.  My condolences to Busta Rhymes.

New Texas Chainsaw 3D Clip Hurdles Online

A new clip from the upcoming Texas Chainsaw 3D has shown up online and if anything, it shows that Leatherface could do some serious damage in the Olympics.  Watch that big boy hurdle that small fence!  Go Leatherface!

All joking aside, this looks pretty terrible and I’m not afraid to say it.  As I’ve said in previous posts about this sequel/reboot, I’m sure it will be a decent time, but the overall cinematic value that I’ve seen from the trailer and this clip is severely lacking.  At least they didn’t have Trey Songz say the stereotypical line “Welcome To Texas Motherf*cker!” a la Busta Rhymes in Halloween: Resurrection.  But having said that, there’s a flaw in that line because isn’t Leatherface from Texas?  So how could he be welcomed there?  Unless of course the filmmakers this time have given a different storyline where Leatherface is originally from Hawaii or North Dakota, and he is in fact just visiting Texas.  All theories and questions will be answered when Texas Chainsaw 3D slices it’s way to theaters on January 4th.

*dammit – now where is that new socket wrench I bought?*