Tag Archives: cheesy 80’s movies

God Bless The Greatness That Is Called ‘Psycho Cop’

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In 1988 when Maniac Cop was released, most horror fans thought they had seen the greatest killer cop movie of all time.  Yes, I’m embellishing that quite a bit, but just go with it for the time being.  And then 1989 came and with that also came the birth of Psycho Cop!  That’s right – Psycho Cop….the clear and obvious knockoff of Maniac Cop, but with more cheese.  I do love me some extra cheese.

If ever there was a movie that needed to be released on Blu-ray, it’s Psycho Cop.  Officer Joe Vickers (Robert R. Shafer) is not to be fucked with and it’s a monumental performance for the ages of horror cinema.  If you couldn’t already tell, I like to make things sound much bigger and better than they actually are.  Who are we kidding…..Psycho Cop is pretty terrible, but in the best way possible.  It’s pure ‘alcohol consumption necessary’ viewing and needs to make no apologies for that.  And I bet that you’ll be saying the joke “What has 18 legs and 2 tits?” at the next party you attend.

 

VHS Horror Movies I Wanted To Rent, But Never Did: Redneck Zombies (1987)

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I grew up in a small farm town in Indiana.  For those of you who don’t know, Indiana is a Midwestern state with a lot of cornfields and rednecks.  Oh – and Larry Bird has a car dealership there somewhere too.  So naturally since I’m from an area that’s known to have redneck or two, a young boy who loved horror movies like me would obviously gravitate towards a movie called Redneck Zombies at my local video store, right?

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“They’re Tobacco Chewin’, Gut Chompin’, Cannibal Kinfolk From Hell!”  With a tagline like that, how the hell did I never rent this?!?  Not only that, but this rare gift was given to us by none other than Troma Entertainment.  Now, I very much enjoyed The Toxic Avenger in 1984, so what made me pass up renting Redneck Zombies back when I was obsessed with renting horror movies?  I wish I had a simple answer my friends.  I guess I was too busy watching Chopping Mall for the tenth time.

I think it’s finally time though….finally time to raise above the skepticism that I hold and sit down and give Redneck Zombies the viewing it so deserves.  I’ll take baby steps first and watch this clip up on Youtube where the word ‘bodacious’ is used to the best of it’s word ability:

Movies That You Wanted To Rent, But Didn’t: Terror On Tape (1983)

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I can honestly admit that I was addicted to renting horror movies in the 80’s. It’s ok – I know that I had a problem, and I’m here to come clean and try to make things right with all of those who were around me at that time in my life.  I can remember renting upwards of 10 movies at a time, some I never even would get around to watching.  But the true travesty of all of this, was that there were horror movies that I passed by, and for whatever reason never rented. One of those movies had a pretty tantalizing cover, so I’m not sure what stopped me from giving up my hard-earned dollar to give it a shot in my VCR. And that movie was 1983’s, Terror On Tape.

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How on Earth could I not rent a movie that claims to have ‘a compilation of the most terrifying scenes from 20 of the scariest horror movies ever made‘?  And if you flipped the cover over, that list of movies included a movie called Vampire Hookers.  A movie called Vampire Hookers!!  What the hell was I thinking?  I guess I was too worried about renting Sleepaway Camp for the tenth time.  I actually really dig compilation flicks, and honestly loved Terror In The Aisles which came out about a year later in 1984.  I felt like I undoubtably dropped the ball on Terror On Tape, even more so when I found this excerpt on Youtube from it:

Alright.  That sealed it for me.  Bad costumes, bad acting, and a set piece that looks like it’s straight out of a bad porn movie.  This lovely piece of cinema looks like it speaks volumes as to why I love 80’s horror so much. Extra cheese indeed!  There’s something endearing about a horror movie that knows where it stands as far as overall quality goes.  I definitely need to track down Terror On Tape, but something tells me that it just won’t give me the satisfaction that it would have had I rented it back in 1983.  Nevertheless, this looks like required viewing.  Off to Ebay I go!

Give Me The Creeps: Arcane’s Transformation Scene In ‘Swamp Thing’ (1982)

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As a 7-year-old boy, I had a lot of guilty pleasures.  Astro Pops candy.  Digging up worms in the backyard.  And the movie, Swamp Thing.  Bear in mind that I’m aware that Swamp Thing isn’t really that good and I always forget that the man who directed A Nightmare On Elm Street (Wes Craven) directed it, but it’s the definition of a guilty pleasure to me.  Of course as an impressionable young boy, Adrienne Barbeau’s breasts in the movie didn’t hurt in the pleasure department.

We’re talking creepy shit in this post though, and believe it or not – Swamp Thing actually gave me the creeps.  It’s one scene in particular, where our villain Arcane (Louis Jourdan) drinks the magic potion and proceeds to turn into a hairy life-size He-Man character.  It’s before he gets all hairy though where the creep factor was really in full effect.

Yeah – that Arcane monster costume is pretty ridiculous.  But focus on what happened in the clip before he got to that point.  The blood running down in his face while his hands are bubbling and smoking.  The Harry Manfredini spooky soundtrack full of eerie strings.  It’s creepy shit.  And I’m not afraid to admit that it still kind of makes me shudder.  You know what doesn’t make me shudder though?

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