I just pinched myself because I enjoy feeling pain at times, and also because it’s FINALLY safe to go back to the movies! Well, not if you consider’talking 10-year-olds sitting next to you while watching a horror movie‘ safe…….but still somewhat safe nonetheless. And the first movie in well over a year that I did see in the theater was…..A Quiet Place Part II: Electric Boogaloo. What a snappy title that would have been.
My rapid review for A Quiet Place Part II would go something like this: This was definitely not a sophomore slump for John Krasinski. Loved the opening sequence that showed the preface to the madness that unfolded in the previous film. Tense and loud (in a good way) from beginning to end, but also quiet at times because that’s the movie’s sweet spot. That bear trap part though (yikes). Cillian Murphy can do no wrong. Not much bad to say about it honestly, other than that I think the series needs to end with this one. But…..a third one already got green-lit (shrug).
Let’s move on to The Conjuring 3: Electric Booglaoo! Oh, I mean – The Conjuring 3: The Devil Made Me Do It. For this one, I did not venture to the theater – but to my couch via HBO Max. So let’s talk: Very strong opening sequence in this one too. Uh oh – 20 mins in and I was already a little bored. I think I’m kinda over possession movies. But hey! Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson are still great. That big fat guy from the morgue though (yikes). Decent climax (that’s what she said), but I think I’m Conjuringed out. Definitely my least favorite in the series, but I didn’t hate it.
Time for the wildcard in this review roundup – a little Irish mood piece called Caveat, which is available to stream now on Shudder. So, let’s chew the fat on this one: Oh my, that toy bunny is pretty terrifying. One of my fears is having to be chained up to the point where I can’t reach the toilet in the bathroom. This movie is directed and written by Damian McCarthy and is his first feature! Extremely dark, unsettling, but interesting as well – it keeps things moving without slowing down too much. I had read that some thought the ending was abrupt and unsatisfying – but I disagree. Easily one of my biggest surprises of the year so far. Go check Caveat out on Shudder. PS – I liked it better than The Conjuring 3 (shrug again).
During these trying times while dealing with the spread of coronavirus, I give you some sage advice: STAY OUT OF CHURCHES! And also, stock up on toilet paper or you’ll be wiping your ass with leaves from outside. But yes, if you believe anything from the 2002 classic 28 Days Later, then you know that you shouldn’t go poking around in churches. Otherwise this might happen:
For my money, this is still one of the most effective scenes EVER (yes, ever) in a horror movie (or, movie in general). Those two dudes that pop up when Jim says “Hello?” still get me shook to this very day and give me the creeps. Hard to believe that we’ll be approaching a 20-year anniversary soon for this movie, as it has aged incredibly well and still remains a revelation for its style and overall influence that it had on the zombie subgenre. But alas, like I said – these are trying times at the moment…..so hunker down, enjoy some good horror, and for God’s sake stay out of the churches!
Everyone has their own ways in which they would hate to die. Drowning for some. Buried alive for others. Spontaneous combustion for a small amount of you. But what about the dreaded eye gouging via a pair of thumbs? Where does that rank on the old ‘ways I would hate to die’ meter? Pretty high for me actually. And thanks to 2002’s fantastic zombie apocalypse flick 28 Days Later, it may have been bumped up even higher. So I had to pay homage to the classic ‘thumbs to the eyes’ climax in picture form during this week’s, Sunday Bloody Sunday.
Yes, the one scene that made everyone squirm from 28 Days Later was when Jim (Cillian Murphy) goes on his mansion rampage, and one unlucky bastard gets to feel the force of BOTH of his thumbs. It’s a moment where we actually feel the optic pain in which that bastard gets his peepers caved in by Jim’s super thumbs. Here is where I would say the obvious “Thumbs Up!” pun if I was resorting to that kind of jokery. But anyway, it’s truly a ‘Holy Shit!’ moment, and Jim is rewarded handsomely afterwards with the bad ass/hot Naomie Harris. Thumbs up, Jim!