And Now In Unnecessary Remake News: The ‘Poltergeist’ Remake Gets A Director!

I guess we have to just pretty much sit back and take it at this point.  So, the remake that just won’t seem to die (it’s been talked about for about 10 years now), has finally found a director.  Well, at least for now that is.  Director Gil Kenan (Monster House) will now be the third (yes, third) man behind the camera to be attached to the seemingly inevitable Poltergeist remake.  Sam Raimi is producing and that might be a good thing since he’s also producing the upcoming Evil Dead remake and that seems to look amazing.  But, he also produced The Grudge 2 (2006) and The Messengers (2007), so it’s a crapshoot.  Maybe it’s just because of my age and the fact that I grew up on the original 1982 Steven Spielberg and Tobe Hooper classic, but I really wish they wouldn’t touch this one.

*shhhh….just let it happen*

I can’t think of another movie that traumatized me as much as a child as Poltergeist.  I had a tree outside of my bedroom window that I was convinced was going to burst through my window and eat me.  Even though it was just a small apple blossom tree, but still!  It’s dainty apple blossom branches could have done some damage to a 6 year old kid.  And don’t even get me started about my sister’s creepy pink clown that sat in her rocking chair.  Sadly, my He-Man and Skeletor action figures couldn’t offer the protection that I needed. On top of all of that, there’s no way I could comfortably eat a steak anymore, because my face would obviously fall off.

*remember to turn the other cheek….or just rip it off*

Why do I feel that the Poltergeist remake is going to be heavy on the CGI and light on the actual scares?  I really hope Sam Raimi and Gil Kenan take a note from the no-CGI policy on the Evil Dead remake and keep some integrity in their new version of Poltergeist.  We’ll see how this one develops as it moves along and we’ll also see if that creepy old guy from Poltergeist 2 will pop up to sell some more knives or whatever he was pushing when he came knocking on the Freeling’s door.

*excuse me….would you happen to have any Bengay?*