Sorry – didn’t mean to bring the merriness down there with the news that a national treasure such as Mickey Rooney was a homicidal killer Santa Claus.  But that’s what you get if you were one of the very, very few who were ever subjected to a viewing of 1991’s, Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker.  Now the first question you might be asking yourself is how did they get up to a Part 5 in this lackluster horror franchise?  But the second and most popular question would be what the hell was Mickey Rooney doing in this movie, let alone playing the old fat jolly guy in the red suit with an evil grudge and awesome toy making abilities?

*your breath smells like menthol cough drops old man*

Not to bore you with the plot of Silent Night Deadly Night 5, but here it goes:  just kidding, I won’t bore you with it.  What’s even more preposterous than the plot of this sequel though, is a huge well known fact about Mr. Rooney and the original Silent Night Deadly Night movie.  He publicly condemned the 1984 slasher flick (along with many others at the time) and wrote a letter of protest to the producers voicing his displeasure with seeing a guy dressed up as Santa Claus, slicing and dicing naughty boys and girls and putting topless women with nice racks onto deer antlers.  Mickey Rooney has voiced Santa Claus for numerous popular animated movies throughout the years and took major offense to what ol’ Billy was up to in the original cult classic.

*jimminy jillickers! this hat’s too tight!*

So what does Mickey do?  He puts himself into the role of the killer Santa Claus for the fifth sequel.  Money troubles?  Senility?  Both?  I’m not sure if we ever got an answer as to why he did it, but the irony is pretty outstanding.  Since it’s the holiday season though, I’m going to give Mickey Rooney a break and thank him for giving the horror world one of the most random and ridiculous performances ever.  This would be the the final sequel in the Silent Night Deadly Night series though, so take that however you want.  On a cheese level, it’s very high, and Mr. Rooney is obviously a big part of that.  Oh, and Clint Howard too.  Can’t say a bad thing about that guy.

*you try being Richie Cunningham’s f*cking brother*