Has Anybody Seen My Turkey Baster? (Don’t Breathe – 2016)

You know, I was just talking to my friend the other day and told him that there is an extreme shortage of semen-filled turkey basters in horror movies nowadays.  Luckily for me, I can go back and revisit the solid 2016 horror/thriller flick Don’t Breathe to get my fix.

For those of you who have not seen Don’t Breathe since it’s release two years ago, I guess I kind of sort of already spoiled the fact that there’s a semen-filled turkey baster scene.  But not just any semen-filled turkey baster scene……THE semen-filled turkey baster scene!  Now watch below as Rocky (Jane Levy) gets her revenge with a (you guessed it) turkey baster.

Now the first thing that comes to mind besides mouthwash after I watch that clip, is how fucking good this movie was.  To me, Don’t Breathe lived up to the hype even though it’s not technically a full-blown horror movie.  A sequel seems to be coming, but if you ask me they should just leave it alone.  And speaking of coming, I do wonder if another turkey baster will make it’s way onto the big screen when the sequel does hit.  We can only dream.

Review: Don’t Breathe (2016)

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Do you and your friends want to get into the business of robbing a house?  Do you want to make hundreds of thousands of dollars doing it?  Are you quick on your feet and able to escape the clutches of a vengeful blind man?  Do you have a fear of turkey basters?  If you answered yes to the first three questions and no to the second, then you’re ready to begin! And I’m now ready to begin my review of director Fede Alvarez’s second feature film, Don’t Breathe.   Continue reading

Anticipation Alert: Don’t Breathe (2016)

Fede Alvarez’s Evil Dead remake in 2013 was a breath of fresh gory air as far as horror remakes go.  It gave enough nods and winks to the original, but managed to up the gross-out factor X 10 with some impressive practical effects throughout the experience.  I still can’t carve a turkey without thinking of an arm getting sawed off.  Well now Alvarez’s follow-up feature is finally coming in the form of Don’t Breathe – a movie that’s getting pretty solid early reviews for being a tense little ‘trapped in the house’ thriller.


The teaser poster is simple, but effective.  The plot behind Don’t Breathe is about a group of teenagers who break into rich people’s houses to further their own economic status by stealing shit that isn’t theirs.  Only problem is that they choose a blind guy as their latest victim and, you guessed it, the tables get turned!  Originally titled A Man In The Dark (which I might like better actually), it sounds like a refreshing idea to the someone tired premise of being ‘trapped in a house’.  Oh – and it stars Jane Levy who was in Alvarez’s Evil Dead as well.

Blind people in horror movies usually aren’t too successful in their quest to stay alive (I’m looking at you Suspiria and The Beyond), so to have a blind person get revenge on a bunch of kids trying to rob him sounds like a good time to me!  As I stated earlier, the early buzz on this is that it’s pretty good, so stay tuned for a trailer hopefully dropping soon and a release date.  In the meantime, do as the title says and don’t breathe.  Actually, go ahead and breathe or you may have some health issues.

Anticipation Alert: Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights 2013

For the past 6 years, I’ve plunked down my money to witness what I believe to be the best haunted house experience ever at Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights in Hollywood.  And yes, I have also learned that plunking down a little more money for the Front Of The Line Pass is well worth it.  This is the time of the year where I get a little giddy, as I wait for the announcements of what mazes will be included, because I know that Creative Director John Murdy and his crew will pull out all of the stops to bring the best detail and scares to the paying public.  And the first maze has been announced and it is:  Evil Dead.

*no, I will not celebrate Arbor Day!*

Not the old-school, chainsaw swinging Ash version though.  The new-school that pays homage to the old-school Fede Alvarez version, which I’m actually more excited about from a haunted house standpoint.  I can already imagine walking into the musty smelling cabin.  Then taking a stroll through the woods before the branches come alive and try to rape me and possess my soul to the point where I need to carve my arm off with an electric meat slicer.  Good times.  Point is that with this news and the rumblings that there may be an Insidious attraction as well, Halloween Horror Nights may have just upped the ante big time this year, especially with the scare factor.  Stay tuned for more maze announcements and if you don’t live in LA or Orlando, I’m sorry – but I’m going to rub it in anyway.

Filmakers Take Note: ‘Evil Dead’ Will Not Have Any CGI At All!

A third Evil Dead post in a row?  What’s even more shocking than that is the fact that the director of the upcoming Evil Dead re-imaging stated in a recent interview that there will be no CGI used in the movie!  How does Linda, from the original Evil Dead movie, feel about that?

Our sentiments exactly original Linda.  That’s right – director Fede Alvarez confirmed with io9.com that there be absolutely no CGI used in the upcoming Necronomicon gorefest, and we horror fans couldn’t be happier!  Here’s a little of what he had to say:  “We didn’t do any CGI in the movie. There’s no CGI in the movie. Everything you will see is real, which was really demanding. This was a very long shoot, 70 days of shooting at night. There’s a reason people use CGI it’s cheaper and faster, I hate that. We researched a lot of magic tricks and illusion tricks.  Like how you would make someone’s arm disappear.

Thank you Fede.  You just upped the anticipation factor for this Evil Dead reboot if that was even possible. Now I could tell from the two trailers that were recently released that they were going to go the more practical route when it came to the FX.  But I wasn’t expecting there to be no CGI at all.  It’s unheard of nowadays, especially if you’re a frequent viewer of Syfy Channel movies. April 12th is when we can all witness this momentous occasion, so mark it on your horror calendars now!