Nothing worse than an 80’s horror movie VHS cover cock tease, right? Oh you know what I’m talking about. Back in the days when you actually rented movies from video stores, you would be drawn in by the VHS cover which would include numerous visual tricks and snappy taglines to make you slap your money down. Case in point: 1987’s misleading, Blue Monkey.
…………………..oh I’m sorry. I was distracted by those scantily clad sexy nurses with their cleavage baring work outfits on. Which proves my point! A ha! Shazaam! Bingo! Sexy nurses always seem to be a selling point I guess, and there are a few of them in the movie, but do you know what isn’t in the movie? A blue monkey! See, I have a slight obsession with monkeys. And you can thank Lancelot Link Secret Chimp for that.
When I saw the title ‘Blue Monkey‘ in the video store as a 12-year-old boy, I immediately knew I had to rent it, and did so after my erection went down from looking at the sexy nurses on the cover. To my amazement though, there were no blue monkeys to be found when I watched it. Only slimy praying mantis insect looking things that don’t resemble blue monkeys at all! All the more reason that they should have went with the original title ‘Insect‘ as shown below.
It was the classic ‘bait and switch’, which was even more common in the 80’s. And particularly in the horror genre. At the end of the day though, what do we really care as long as we get to see a cheesy horror movie, right? That’s what was endearing about what I consider to be the golden age of horror. Even the shittiest movies had a certain charm to them, and usually some decent non-CGI visual effects too. I guess Blue Monkey doesn’t deserve that bad of a rap then after all, even with the shortage of actual blue monkeys. For those of you who need to fill your monkey quota this week though, please enjoy this episode of Lancelot Link Secret Chimp where they dress up as the Long Ranger and Tonto.