Tag Archives: halloween michael myers

Why Can’t We Make Michael Myers Scary Again?

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Ok, so I haven’t officially done a review for the new Halloween on my site yet…..but here’s my review of it in a nutshell:

Loved the look of it, loved most of the nods to the original, loved the look of Michael Myers and the fact that Nick Castle was back.  Hated most of the humor, didn’t love the whole ‘I’ve been waiting 40 years for him to escape so I can kill him’ Jamie Lee Curtis storyline, and most importantly……I hated that Michael Myers wasn’t scary. 

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Which brings me to this brief rant.  Now, I enjoyed the new movie just fine.  I didn’t love it.  I didn’t think it was amazing.  And it probably won’t even be in my Top 5 for the year.  But I liked it.  Why can’t we make Michael Myers scary again though?  Oh – I’m sure some people will say that he was scary in this.  Stomping a head into pieces does not make him scary.  Appearing in the shadows, popping up in the background of a shot so you can barely see him, and methodically stalking a victim makes him scary.  And the mask breathing.  None of which was really found here.

I think that’s why the humor was a huge miss for me.  I get it – Danny McBride and David Gordon Green write comedy.  But I don’t need that in a Halloween movie.  Sure, a little humor can help break up the flow of a horror movie in a good way – because the contrast that comes later on with the dread and killing can make it all the more unsettling.  I just really missed my scary Michael when I watched this ‘sequel’.  I even think back to Halloween II (which I honestly love btw), and that scene where Jamie Lee Curtis is crawling across the hospital parking lot.  Just so well done.

I have faith though.  Because there will be a sequel to the new Halloween (money talks…..and Michael’s breathing at the end) – and I am hoping…..and praying…..that Michael Myers can and will be scary again.  And btw – what the hell happened to the asshole boyfriend in the movie?  He didn’t deserve to die?  Psssshhhh.

Ebay Find Of The Week: ‘Young Michael Myers’ Clown Mask Replica From ‘Halloween’

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It hasn’t been proven, but I might have a lot of readers who are 6-years-old and younger. And for all of my youngsters out there, who now that I think about it shouldn’t be reading my blog, have I got a treat for you!  If you want to scare the shit out of your babysitter around Halloween, you can now get your grubby hands on a replica of the clown mask that a young Michael Myers wore in the original Halloween.

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All jokes aside, this is a mask for adults and is an adult size mask.  And it comes in three different versions:  clean, weathered, and bloody.  The one in the image is the weathered version.  It’s hand painted onto very strong plastic and a protective coat is also applied. The detail is pretty amazing, although the price is a bit steep at $60.  It does include free shipping though and no two masks will be the same since they’re handmade.  If you’re interested in picking one up, you can do so right HERE.  Happy Halloween!

Dirty Horror Presents: The Hairiest Michael Myers Halloween Mask Ever

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This is good news if you’re looking for a Michael Myers mask with a nice Gene Simmons/Albert Einstein hybrid hairdo.  I suppose this mask is the envisionment of what Michael would look like had he skipped a few trips to the hair salon, so it’s somewhat accurate.  But regardless of that, it’s pretty terrible in a hairy kind of way.  I might buy one as a joke, but then I would just be contributing to the hairy terribleness.  For a cool $24.99 though, you can be the life and laughter of your upcoming Halloween party, so get on over to the Ebay post HERE and grab one because there are only 5 left!  Granted, there were only 5 to begin with, but I guess that’s irrelevant.

Halloween Mask Hunting In June!

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The greatest day of the year is only less than 6 months away.  No, not my birthday.  That comes in a close second place to the most anticipated yearly holiday of them all…….Halloween!  And even though we’re only in the beginning of June, why not start searching for that perfect horror-related mask to scare the shit out of little kids on All Hallow’s Eve night?

Now, if I asked you to name the creepiest horror mask of all time, most of you would comfortably say Michael Myers from the Halloween franchise.  I have great news for you if you did, because I found a new edition to the ever-growing Michael Myers mask collection……and here it is!

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Oh dear God.  Well, that’s not good.  I apologize.  I guess it looked better the first time I looked at it, but now I realize that I was clearly wrong.  Ok, well maybe it’s just that the front angle doesn’t look that great and it looks better from the side?  Yeah, maybe that’s the money shot.

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Why does Michael Myers look like Pauly D from Jersey Shore?  And it looks like he’s gained a bit of weight in the face which could be from sulking in his house and eating Butterfingers all day long.  There’s something I bet you didn’t know – Michael Myers loves Butterfingers!  Ok, we have one more chance to redeem this piece of shit mask, and that’s with the back view.

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Well, clearly no help there.  So to review:  The front view is terrible.  The side view is awful.  And the back view looks like it was designed by Stevie Wonder.  Add all of that up and most likely, this is not the Halloween mask for you this year.  But cheer up!  We have about six more months to get it right, so stay tuned as I try and make up for this mess of a Michael Myers mask.