Oh man – nothing got ol’ Gene Siskel riled up more than those damn 80’s slasher movies! And he was fired up and fuming over our favorite Valentine’s Day themed horror movie, My Bloody Valentine back in 1981.
I always just have to chuckle when Siskel & Ebert would review horror movies. At least they acknowledged that Halloween was good in this review, and I admire Roger for even mentioning New Year’s Evil – but geez were they a couple of Grumpy Guses. The funny thing is, I had just watched a review they did for Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer and they loved it! Granted, it’s a much better film than My Bloody Valentine – but two completely different styles obviously. Don’t listen to Ebenezer Siskel though, folks – you go watch My Bloody Valentine by yourself or with your significant other next month, and you cheer on Harry Warden while he murders those kids that look like they’re in their 30’s! It’s what any 80’s slasher movie would want you to do.
Ahhhhh, it’s Valentine’s Day. That fake holiday where guys are supposed to be scared into buying flowers and candy. Oh – those were my inside thoughts talking. Sorry. I mean it’s a lovely day where you spend a joyous experience with the one you love and care about so much! Now let’s talk about a girl getting her head sliced in half by a shovel.
Welcome to Sunday Bloody Sunday – the special Valentine’s Day edition! And nothing says horror and Valentine’s Day like My Bloody Valentine. Yes, the original 1981 version is an underground slasher classic in my book, but I’m spotlighting a scene from the ambitious and pretty entertaining 2009 remake. Brandi didn’t last long in the movie, but she did have a great death scene involving a shovel shoved into her face. Peep the clip below and enjoy your Valentine’s Day, lovers!
The day is finally here. The day where women everywhere wait on pins and needles for flowers to arrive at work so they can gloat and show them off to those women who didn’t receive flowers. Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day. And if you’re single, prepare to drink heavily to forget about the fact that you’re single. But if you’re a couple, a romantic movie just might be in your future.
Another viewing of The Proposal perhaps? You know we can’t get enough of that zany Sandra Bullock. What about having another round of The Notebook for the 867th time? Ryan Gosselin might get even more dreamy this time. Nah….fuck all of that. Fellas, when your significant other isn’t looking, I suggest sneaking to the DVD player and popping in something like 2003’s French horror film, High Tension for some atmosphere.
See? It’s French! And the French are known for being romantic. Speaking of, the original title is Switchblade Romance. It has ‘romance’ in the title! What more do you want??? And what a romantic movie it is. Oh sure, it’s got the occasional guy using a severed head to give himself sexual gratification, but the love that our main character Marie shows for Alexia is like no other. Forgot to mention the lesbian undertones, but that should only intrigue you more. Not only that, but it has one of the best throat slits in a movie EVER! See for yourself below:
Now that’s amore! Can’t you just feel the warmth in the air? Careful though, that might actually be some of the blood that came spewing out of that poor woman’s throat in the clip. High Tension proves that you can have your cake and eat it too. You want a romantic movie? Done. You want a ridiculous gory horror movie? Done. The bottom line: Don’t ignore horror on this holiest of holy days for lovers. You just might be surprised how much a head being decapitated by a bookcase will set the mood. Happy Valentine’s Day!
With Valentine’s Day a mere three days away, there are only two things you should really be thinking about. First: what are you’re going to get your girlfriend or wife so that your ass isn’t sleeping on the couch? Second: what horror movie are you going to watch in honor of this fake holiday? The first one I can’t help with, but I’ll pray for you. The second is pretty easy considering there is only one Valentine’s Day themed horror movie that has quite possibly the greatest cinematic mustache of all time!
Yes ladies (and some gentlemen), that impressive flavor saver you’re looking at up there belongs to none other than Hollis. He’s a not really lean, sometimes pretty mean, gorgeous furry-lipped machine! And he can be all yours this Valentine’s Day if you watch the underrated 1981 slasher flick, My Bloody Valentine. His mustache deserved it’s own name in the credits. So it seems only fitting to salute this monumental lady tickler and give it the respect that it deserves. Feels only right to give you one more glance at it before I go too. And I bet you won’t even notice that there are three other people in the pic because you’ll be staring at Hollis’ cookie duster the whole time………
Happy Valentine’s Day everybody! Today is that glorious romantic day where guys tremble from fear and pray that they don’t fuck up and end up sleeping on the couch later tonight. And here at Dirty Horror, I wanted to show my appreciation for this made up holiday in horror form, with a fancy pictoral gallery from all three of your favorite Valentine’s Day themed horror movies! Step inside and feel your heartstrings pluck. Continue reading →