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Gulp…..I’m A Little Worried About ‘Insidious: Chapter 2’

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I hate when I get like this, but I’m starting to get the shakes.  Not the good kind of shakes that you get when you’re about to bite into a delicious double cheeseburger after you’ve been hungry all day, but the kind of shakes you get when you feel you’re about to be let down by a new horror movie.  Oh those are the worst, aren’t they?  I was damn near convulsing before I saw the Nightmare On Elm Street remake and now I’m getting that same feeling for Insidious: Chapter 2.

*Wake up! You’re missing The Golden Girls marathon!*

Look….I dug Insidious and recently re-watched it.  Was I blown away the first time I saw it?  Not particularly, but I jumped a few times and thought it had an overall great “creep” factor.  Still think the daytime scene of the little boy dancing in the living room to “Tiptoe Through The Tulips” is as good as scary daytime scenes come in a horror movie.  When the sequel was announced, it was a predictable announcement, but I understood it.  And when I heard that it would immediately pick up after the first one, I was even more intrigued (I hate sequels that just start 5 years later or never even acknowledge the original).  Then I saw the first trailer and it just felt so…..I don’t know…..forced?

*I’ll take a box of Thin Mints and one box of Samoas please*

James Wan knows horror and he’s proven that, especially with this year’s triumph, The Conjuring.  I don’t doubt his abilities as a filmmaker at all, especially in the horror genre, but what I do doubt after viewings of TV spots and trailers is that Insidious: Chapter 2 needed to be made at all.  Like I said earlier, forced seems to be the best way to describe my feelings towards it and overall, it looks like a complete rehash from the original.  I’ve also read that there’s more comedy in this one, which is what I didn’t like about Insidious when the bumbling paranormal team shows up.  Skip the comedy and give me the horror!

*They’re called breath mints….*

Early buzz from screenings isn’t great, which is even more of a letdown.  I am however going to remain optimistic and hope that James Wan has enough tricks up his sleeve to put a grin on my face and walk out of the theater with a full tummy of horror goodness.  For the record, the Darth Maul looking red demon from Insidious didn’t bother me like it did most.  What did bother me was the guy in the leather trench coat with the long hair.  Ugh.  Hopefully the old pervy “He’s got your baby!” guy from the trailer replaces trench coat guy in Insidious: Chapter 2.  It’s the little things in life that matter most.

Am I Wrong For Wanting Another ‘Friday The 13th’ Movie?

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It’s crazy because I was just finishing up writing this post about how I wanted another Friday The 13th movie, and low and behold, Paramount has obtained full rights from Warner Bros, and now has 5 years to crank out as many Fridays as it can!  So yeah, still read my post about it to get my take on the future of the franchise in general:  

Let me get this out there right away:  I actually kind of liked the 2009 Friday The 13th reboot/remake.  No where near as awful or groan-inducing as the Nightmare On Elm Street retry abortion, the Friday reboot actually had a decent set of balls attached to it.  And a few great pairs of boobs too.  I loved the beginning scene with the first set of victims, but then once it got into the whole ‘my sister is missing’ territory, it lost steam pretty quick.  The kills were there, but they were uninspired and I felt that had they just stuck to a bare bones script (keeping the boobs of course and some inventive kills), we would have been much better off.  But I didn’t hate it, which is why I’m a little surprised that there isn’t a sequel in the works or even any real substantial talk about one.

*wow!  those machete seeds grew faster than I thought!*

The film made money.  And horror, for the moment anyway, seems to be on the rise again as far as movies and TV go.  They’ve pretty much already greenlit another Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie, and that reboot/remake sucked ass.  So what’s the deal?  I know that there are issues with the whole Paramount/Warner Bros distribution rights fiasco.  Or maybe it was the Nightmare On Elm Street rework a year later that gave everyone cold feet to step back inside Camp Crystal Lake?  Look, it’s not rocket science.  Have someone come up with a basic premise, add some hot girls, some dumb decisions, and a few interesting/holy shit death scenes, and the horror masses will be happy.  Kind of sounds like I’m riffing off of the whole Cabin In The Woods message, eh?

*worst hide and seek game ever*

I think they can get this one right.  The horror remake track record is not strong, but I have to believe that whoever is involved can take Friday The 13th back to the roots and spit out something that we can swallow.  I’m down with Jason Mears strapping on the hockey mask again and I also wouldn’t be opposed to doing something fun in 3D, ala what they did with My Bloody Valentine.  To this day, one of the best movie experiences I’ve had was a packed Midnight 3D showing of Friday The 13th Part 3, with the original cast in attendance.  Maybe even give Crispin Glover a call, since I’m pretty sure that you can get him for cheap nowadays.