Maggots. Even typing that word makes me uneasy. It all started when I was a young boy in Indiana (insert cheesy dream sequence music)……….
Growing up in Indiana, it would get humid in the summertime. My parents had three plastic trash cans outside and as part of my chores, I would have to bring them up every Thursday. One day, I forgot to do it. And as you could guess, I wouldn’t get my allowance if I didn’t go get them. Unluckily for me, it was dark out by the time I went to collect the trash cans. A generous 90% humidity was in the air…..it had rained earlier in the day…..and there was a minor stench from the rain water under my nose. I ran outside, got to the trash can destination, and gripped my hand around the handle pulling it up to the side of the house. But, something felt…..wrong. As I kept going, I felt almost a tickling feeling on my hand. Then almost an uncomfortable itching feeling accompanied that. I had to stop my trek up to the house and turn around and see what was going on. And guess what? Oh, you probably already guessed. MAGGOTS WERE CRAWLING ON MY HAND! I shook them off, nearly peeing my pants as I did. The trash can lid fell off in the process and inside were literally hundreds of maggots clinging to the sides and bottom. I ran back in the house and said “Keep your fucking allowance this week!” and bolted to my room and hid under my covers. Ok, I didn’t really say that – but I thought it. My Dad, always the hero, took care of the trash cans and I was traumatized for the rest of my life.
So there you have it. That’s why I hate maggots. Well, that and the chicken scene in Poltergeist. And the raining maggot scene in Suspiria. Oh, and not to be outdone – this legendary flying maggot scene from City Of The Living Dead. Fuck you, maggots!
Birthdays can be depressing. Birthdays can be super depressing. But most of all, birthdays can be delicious! Especially if you have a birthday cake inspired by the infamous ‘maggot infested chicken leg’ scene from Poltergeist:
Yes. That’s a cake. Quite possibly the greatest birthday cake I’ve ever seen as well. And as much as I despise maggots, I would eat them all without any hesitation. Now who created this disgusting deliciousness? Turns out it’s done by Debbie Does Cakes in Oakland, California. Now, she doesn’t seem to specialize in horror-themed cakes necessarily……but as evident from that chicken leg up there, she can knock a horror-themed cake out the park.
By the way, my birthday is tomorrow for anyone looking for a last minute gift for me. But anyway – if you’re in the market for cake with or without maggots, then go to Debbie’s website HERE for more info. Now pardon me while drool over that pic some more……and then go into the bathroom and rip my face off.
I’ve touched on my fear and disdain for maggots in the past, but please allow me to get deeper into the subject. It started in 1982 with Poltergeist and the infamous ‘maggots in the steak’ scene where a guy tore his face off in the bathroom. From that it went to real life maggot experiences, like when I was fishing on a family trip and I unknowingly picked up a piece of driftwood that was covered in them. As if that wasn’t traumatizing enough, I have vivid memories of taking out the garbage cans at home at night when I was around 12. Surprisingly while doing this chore, I found a bunch of maggots crawling all over my hand because of the hot and humid rainy weather that was occurring at the time. Needless to say – I hate maggots.
So on this edition of Give Me The Creeps, I’m focusing on the scene from 1987’s vampire flick, The Lost Boys, where Michael is meant to believe from David that he’s actually eating maggots instead of rice:
Shudder. I know that I seem like a wuss, but anything to do with those gross baby flies makes my skin crawl. And the thought of ingesting them gets my stomach all in knots. All maggot talk aside for a second, I love The Lost Boys and even though this scene is the only scene that really creeped me out, I still hold the film up there as one of the best vampire movies of all time. By the way, I think my plans of having Chinese food tonight just got put on the back burner. Now to keep that delicious maggot taste in your mouth, I want to leave you with some pretty amazing artwork from Jason Edmiston appropriately titled: Maggots.