Killing Your Childhood: ‘Gremlins’ Remake Announced

I remember being 8 years old in 1984, sitting in my local town theater watching Gremlins on a torn movie screen, while gum was sticking to my ass from the uncomfortable seat.  And then I remember going again the next day because I became obsessed with that movie and had to see it again.  Gremlins holds a special place in my childhood memory bank and is a great Christmas time movie to boot! (minus the scene where Phoebe Cates tells the story about her Dad dressing up like Santa Claus and then getting killed while going down the family chimney of course)

So what does Hollywood like to do with classic movies and childhood memories?  They like to shit all over them and make money during the shitting process, that’s what!

*better to be protected against dangerous wind chills during an armed robbery*

Yes, a Gremlins remake is coming.  You can’t stop it.  You can’t avoid it.  It’s coming.  There had been talks of a sequel instead, which I would have been way more ok with.  But a remake seems about right considering Hollywood doesn’t have much originality left in their bones and they like taking the easy way out.  The director’s chair is still vacant as of now (might as well give Joe Dante a shot at least), but Seth Grahame-Smith and David Katzenberg will produce.  I have a sinking feeling that CGI will be heavily involved, but if it turns into a Smurfs/Alvin & The Chipmunks affair, I’ll pound my head against a wall.  My mind is left barely open at this point though and I’ll prepare for Corey Feldman trying to get a role in the movie in 3….2….1….

*do these glasses make my ears look big?*