Anticipation Alert: Don’t Breathe (2016)

Fede Alvarez’s Evil Dead remake in 2013 was a breath of fresh gory air as far as horror remakes go.  It gave enough nods and winks to the original, but managed to up the gross-out factor X 10 with some impressive practical effects throughout the experience.  I still can’t carve a turkey without thinking of an arm getting sawed off.  Well now Alvarez’s follow-up feature is finally coming in the form of Don’t Breathe – a movie that’s getting pretty solid early reviews for being a tense little ‘trapped in the house’ thriller.

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The teaser poster is simple, but effective.  The plot behind Don’t Breathe is about a group of teenagers who break into rich people’s houses to further their own economic status by stealing shit that isn’t theirs.  Only problem is that they choose a blind guy as their latest victim and, you guessed it, the tables get turned!  Originally titled A Man In The Dark (which I might like better actually), it sounds like a refreshing idea to the someone tired premise of being ‘trapped in a house’.  Oh – and it stars Jane Levy who was in Alvarez’s Evil Dead as well.

Blind people in horror movies usually aren’t too successful in their quest to stay alive (I’m looking at you Suspiria and The Beyond), so to have a blind person get revenge on a bunch of kids trying to rob him sounds like a good time to me!  As I stated earlier, the early buzz on this is that it’s pretty good, so stay tuned for a trailer hopefully dropping soon and a release date.  In the meantime, do as the title says and don’t breathe.  Actually, go ahead and breathe or you may have some health issues.

Monday Bloody Monday: ‘Dog Bites Blind Guy’ From ‘Suspiria’ (1977)

What is it with Italian horror movies killing off blind people?  In 1985’s Demons, a poor blind guy bit the dust by having his non-seeing eyes smooshed in.  The precursor to that happened in 1977’s Suspiria, when Dario Argento thought he would set the gold standard for blind people cruelty and let a guide dog take a chunk out of his sightless master’s jugular.

So, on this special edition of Monday Bloody Monday, we’re going to all gather around and watch that scene from Suspiria.  Two things come to mind when I revisit this moment by the way.  First, german shepherds are awesome dogs.  And second, what the hell happened to Dario Argento?  It’s sad to watch a fantastic movie like this and then watch his attempts at filmmaking nowadays where he has Dracula turning into a giant praying mantis.  But I digress.  Now let’s watch a blind guy get his throat ripped out by a dog.