I can remember it like it was yesterday, but it wasn’t yesterday, it was probably when I was about 9 or 10 years old.  There I was strolling through a video store in Indiana that also sold washing machines and refrigerators, looking for the perfect horror movie to rent to satisfy my craving.  Looking up and down the aisle of horror goodness, I waited for a sign…..something to draw me in…..something to say “Hey big boy, come and give me a chance” (maybe not as creepy as that).  And almost instantly, I remember seeing it. Words couldn’t describe it – although, in retrospect, it was the words that described it…..are you intrigued yet?  Oh I bet you are…..and there, before my eyes, stood what possibly could be the best tagline for a horror movie that I had ever seen.

I was mesmerized.  “Take the stairs, take the stairs, for god’s sake, take the stairs!!”  What would happen if I didn’t take the stairs?!!!  I had to find out.  And I had to find out what would happen if I actually did take the stairs (other than a good cardiovascular workout of course).  So I took the 1983 Dutch horror movie The Lift home and watched it. And the movie was shit.  End of review for that.  But, what’s important here is that this tagline will live on and hopefully continue to find the praise and admiration that it so deserves for many years to come.  So here’s to you, tagline for the awful 1983 Dutch horror film The Lift.  You truly are head and shoulders above all other awful 1983 Dutch horror movies.

*should have taken the stairs asshole*