Good thing I’m in the market for a new overpriced 80’s horror movie keychain! Upon searching for keychains on Ebay for some reason, I stumbled upon something so rare…..so special…..so unnecessary…..that I just had to share the good news with you. Brace yourselves as you gaze upon this promotional keychain from the 1987 horror/comedy, House II: The Second Story!
Oh it’s beautiful, and I’m actually having trouble finding the words to describe such a remarkable specimen. And it’s even better if you like the color yellow! Now for those who don’t know, House II: The Second Story was a sequel to the entertaining first movie in 1986 called House. Personally, I didn’t really like the sequel, but I’m sure there are fans out there who will clamor towards this keychain. But (and it’s a big but), it’s going for $25 on Ebay right now. There is the option to ‘Make An Offer’, so you have that going for you. Head on over to the listing HERE and take a look. I’ll stand back cautiously while the stampede settles down to claim this one……
When it comes to disappointing horror movie sequels, 1988’s Return Of The Living Dead Part II is definitely up at the top of that list for me. Such a downgrade to the 1985 original, it attempted the horror/comedy hybrid and pretty much failed miserably and had an annoying kid as the lead character to boot. But sometimes from trash, there is treasure found. Behold the Australian promotional poster for the movie that I found on Ebay recently:
Now if a zombie just walked around giving everyone the middle finger throughout Return Of The Living Dead Part II, then I probably wouldn’t hate it as much as I do. Zombies with a big “Fuck You” attitude always wins me over in the end. I had never seen this poster before, so obviously it’s fairly rare. This copy seems as though it’s in pretty good shape too, but it will cost you. About $125 before shipping to be more exact. If you’re feeling like you really need this Australian poster for Return Of The Living Dead Part II, then head on over to the listing link HERE and snatch it up! Just steer clear of the actual movie.
Looking for that perfect gift for the horror fan in your life? It is the holiday season, so if you’re not looking, you should be somewhat ashamed of yourself. But if that special horror-enthusiastic person you know is a fan of Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker, then I may have just found you the perfect gift!
Oh wow! Is that a Silent Night Deadly Night 5 poster??? For the two people who are actual fans of this movie, it’s ok to show your excitement. But yes, that is indeed an actual 27 X 40 poster that can be yours on Ebay for only $10. Unfortunately, Mickey Rooney is not included. Nor is that smug kid on the poster either. But at $10, it’s actually kind of a steal to own a piece of ‘bad horror film’ memorabilia. So if you’re interested, head over to the Ebay listing HEREand snatch it up. If not, feel free to go spend your $10 on some delicious holiday cookies.
I have always said that my site needs more Rockabilly. Today, I fulfill that random realization with a clip from a horror sequel that’s was so bad, so terrible, and so damn good. And because of all that bad terribleness, it naturally deserves to be praised!
On this week’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I’m taking you back to the year of 1987 and to the wonderful world of Slumber Party Massacre II. A sequel to 1984’s The Slumber Party Massacre, this follow-up made no fucking sense and involved a random Rockabilly killer with a guitar drill as a weapon. Let’s not kid ourselves here, The Slumber Party Massacre wasn’t winning any Oscars, so accepting the sequel wasn’t that hard to swallow. Tons of puns and some decent gore make it worthwhile, so let’s watch a guy get the guitar drill shoved through his chest below and honor the madness!
I’m a sucker for anything retro that has to do with horror movies. Even if the retro fun involved is with a terrible sequel. And the terrible sequel that I’m talking about is 1988’s Return Of The Living Dead Part II. Sure, it had a little bit of charm – but the comedy mostly fell flat, unlike it’s predecessor in 1985. Whatever feelings I have for ROTLD Part II, I can push aside for a minute to enjoy this lovely little promo ad for the merchandise that you could have purchased in 1988 to support the film.
Did that put as big of a smile on your face as it did mine? I miss these kinds of ads (usually attached to the VHS copies after the movie was over), and that’s exactly why I love Youtube because you can always revisit them. Hopefully you’re not dumb enough to call the 1-800 number included in the ad though to try and order something. Ebay is your only hope for any of these items, so if you’ve been clambering to get your hands on a Return Of The Living Dead Part II tank top, race on over and get to some searching! I think I’ll avoid the stampede myself, so you guys have at it.
Who loves board games??!! And who loves board games that are based off of subpar horror movie sequels??!! Well then do I have some good news for you. In a random search for horror-themed games, I stumbled across this:
That’s right. You’re looking at a promotional board game based on Candyman: Farewell To The Flesh that came out in 1995. Now, even though I wasn’t crazy about the movie – I have to admit that this looks pretty cool. Of course it could be a complete waste of time and utter horse shit, but at least it looks like they took some time on the design. Here’s a brief synopsis of what it’s all about:
“As you travel the streets of New Orleans looking for pieces of the puzzle to solve the Candyman Murder mysteries you have to make sure you do not become a victim yourself. To win, player must proceed clockwise along the streets of New Orleans and get to the Mansion with the key card in order to unlock the secret to Candyman’s power.”
Not sure if this would be a game to gather the whole family around on a Friday night to play, but it definitely might be a game to get your friends together and drink heavily while you try to unlock the secret to Candyman’s power. If you’re intrigued by the premise of the game and of the pics above, I have good news for you! There is one up for sale on Ebay HERE right now. I would imagine you might be able to walk away with it for no more than $50. A small price to pay for an enjoyable piece of horror memorabilia. Oh that’s right – I don’t know if it’s enjoyable or not. Forgot I said it could be utter horse shit. Up to you to take the gamble I guess!
They really don’t make them like Children Of The Corn II: The Final Sacrifice anymore. Actually they do, I’m just trying to build this post up to be bigger than it actually is, when honestly I’m just going to show you a clip of an old lady getting hit by a truck.
Welcome to Sunday Bloody Sunday where as you already know, I’m spotlighting a scene from the awful but enjoyable Children Of The Corn II: The Final Sacrifice. This was indeed the first of many sequels to the original Children Of The Corn movie from 1984. The clip involves a group of the town’s cult kids with their leader Micah, stalking an old lady in a wheelchair with a remote control car. What happens next of course, is both tragic and pretty hilarious:
Yep. That might be the worst, but maybe best, dummy I’ve ever seen in a horror movie. They really just didn’t give a shit, did they? Oh well, it makes it all the more enjoyable because I don’t think Children Of The Corn II is supposed to be taken that seriously. I will have to admit that this forgotten sequel has some pretty good death scenes to make up for it’s lack of acting and plot. Case in point, this nifty little clip below that shows the power of Micah and his wooden voodoo doll. And in church nonetheless! For shame, Micah. For shame.
Public bathrooms can sure be uncomfortable. Especially those horse trough-style ones that usually appear in old baseball stadiums where you have to pee alongside strangers which can sometime get a little too close. But none are more uncomfortable than a bathroom where a bunch of people dressed up like Ghostface from the Scream movies occupy the standup urinals, forcing you to use a smelly stall.
If you’ve seen Scream 2, then you know two things. One: it has a ridiculous ending where the lesbian sister from the old TV show Roseanne is the killer. Two: it has a pretty effective opening sequence involving actor Omar Epps in the aforementioned Ghostface occupied bathroom (and also a nifty pre-opening credits death of Jada Pinkett). We’re talking piss here though since the title of this ongoing feature is ‘UrineTrouble‘, and Omar Epps found himself in quite the pickle when he decided to eavesdrop on the stall next to him. Speaking of pickles, why does he look like he starts to actually pee and then stops? That shit stings when you do that.
Who’s got the juice now, Q? Sorry – wrong Omar Epps 90’s movie reference there. But yeah, Omar took a knife to the skull and tragically never got to release his bladder. He may have pissed himself though while he laid bleeding on the floor, so at least there’s the prospect of that. I dug Scream 2 for the most part, pretty much up until that big killer “reveal” at the end. So in honor of that, let’s finish this post off with a pic of Laurie Metcalf attempting to do her best Pamela Voorhees impersonation with a gun instead of a machete.
I’m a sucker for tasty suckers. Especially if those suckers were used as promotional tools for a horror franchise that had five too many sequels. The joys of scouring Ebay have helped me hit pay dirt again my friends, as I’ve found a “rare” promotional lollipop for Saw VI!
That’s looks scrumptious. If you’re salivating like me right now at the thought of eating a sucker that looks like it’s straight out of a doctor’s office ‘Please Take One‘ basket, then I’m glad I’m not alone. Smack a couple Roman numerals on there and you’ve got something almost as magical as the actual Saw VI movie. And yes, someone is actually selling this fine promotional specimen for $13.13 on Ebay right HERE. So if you’re like me and would cut off your left arm to get this candy goodness, then head over there now! Sorry, I had to use that last line so the picture below would work. Sometimes comedy doesn’t come easy.
What better way to forget about the winter weather than by watching a clip that features some horny teenagers in bathing suits from 1987’s underwhelming anthology flick, Creepshow 2? Now if that doesn’t warm you up and make you forget about the 23 inches of snow outside of your house, nothing will!
But on Sunday Bloody Sunday, I showcase some of my favorite death scenes from past and present horror movies, so don’t expect to feel entirely toasty and fuzzy after watching the clips. As I mentioned, this week I’m diving into what I consider the best of the three stories from Creepshow 2. I’m talking about ‘The Raft‘ and I must have been chewing some Doublemint gum because I’m going to double your pleasure with TWO clips this week! Don’t say I never give you anything.