This is good news if you’re looking for a Michael Myers mask with a nice Gene Simmons/Albert Einstein hybrid hairdo. I suppose this mask is the envisionment of what Michael would look like had he skipped a few trips to the hair salon, so it’s somewhat accurate. But regardless of that, it’s pretty terrible in a hairy kind of way. I might buy one as a joke, but then I would just be contributing to the hairy terribleness. For a cool $24.99 though, you can be the life and laughter of your upcoming Halloween party, so get on over to the Ebay post HERE and grab one because there are only 5 left! Granted, there were only 5 to begin with, but I guess that’s irrelevant.
The greatest day of the year is only less than 6 months away. No, not my birthday. That comes in a close second place to the most anticipated yearly holiday of them all…….Halloween! And even though we’re only in the beginning of June, why not start searching for that perfect horror-related mask to scare the shit out of little kids on All Hallow’s Eve night?
Now, if I asked you to name the creepiest horror mask of all time, most of you would comfortably say Michael Myers from the Halloween franchise. I have great news for you if you did, because I found a new edition to the ever-growing Michael Myers mask collection……and here it is!
Oh dear God. Well, that’s not good. I apologize. I guess it looked better the first time I looked at it, but now I realize that I was clearly wrong. Ok, well maybe it’s just that the front angle doesn’t look that great and it looks better from the side? Yeah, maybe that’s the money shot.
Why does Michael Myers look like Pauly D from Jersey Shore? And it looks like he’s gained a bit of weight in the face which could be from sulking in his house and eating Butterfingers all day long. There’s something I bet you didn’t know – Michael Myers loves Butterfingers! Ok, we have one more chance to redeem this piece of shit mask, and that’s with the back view.
Well, clearly no help there. So to review: The front view is terrible. The side view is awful. And the back view looks like it was designed by Stevie Wonder. Add all of that up and most likely, this is not the Halloween mask for you this year. But cheer up! We have about six more months to get it right, so stay tuned as I try and make up for this mess of a Michael Myers mask.