It’s time once again for one of my favorite features titled You Ain’t A Killer, where I give you my thoughts on that big killer “reveal” from your favorite slasher movie or one that you’ve never even heard of. Going with the latter this time, I bring you the 2009 straight to DVD stinker, Cornered! No I wasn’t excited when I just typed that sentence, the title for the movie actually has an exclamation mark attached to it. Now if you don’t want me to ruin this gem of a movie for you, then please stop reading now. Because this is where I tell you who the killer is and why it just rubs me the wrong way. So without anymore hesitation, I’m hear to proclaim: You ain’t a killer Steve Guttenberg! Wait. Did I just type the name Steve Guttenberg? No Shit?
So yeah. Steve Guttenberg is a psychopath in this movie. Let that sink in for a minute, especially my fellow 30-40 year olds who grew up an his cinematic antics. Now let’s delve deeper into the Guttenberg madness, shall we? Continue reading