You Ain’t A Killer: Pamela Voorhees

This one has bothered me for a while now.  I remember the first time I saw Friday The 13th.  It wouldn’t be until it debuted on cable that I would get my first viewing, because I was only 4-years-old when it was released in theaters and that would have just been irresponsible of my parents to take me then.  So when the big reveal came about who the killer was, I think I paused for a minute…..and may have even thrown a “What the f*ck?” in there, which was wrong considering I was only about 7 or 8 when I saw it.  80’s movies were full of nudity and vulgarity, so I told my parents to deal with it.  But yeah, it didn’t take me long to come to the realization that:  You ain’t a killer Pamela Voorhees!    Continue reading

You Ain’t A Killer: Urban Legend (1998)

Here’s a new feature that I’ll be bringing you called You Ain’t A Killer.  It will focus on the moments in horror movies where the big reveal is unleashed upon us of who has been slicing and dicing poor bastards and bastardettes in the process.  And sometimes, we’re left with that dumb look on our face like we’re impersonating Lennie from Of Mice And Men.  First up – the somewhat entertaining, but never believable 90’s slasher, Urban Legend.  Now, I’m not going to review the movie, even though I will say that it did tickle my horror bone a few times, so mission accomplished on that.  What didn’t get accomplished was a believable killer.  And because of that, I have to say:  You ain’t a killer Rebecca Gayheart!

*do you really think my skin is flawless? awww – thanks! now I won’t kill you*

Ahhh yes.  The brutal nastiness of the Noxzema girl (Brenda Bates) is not believable for a second.   Continue reading